Did you?
by Jasmin 0583
Summary: One of the 55th Precinct officers is accused of having commited a horrible crime
1. Chapter 1

A.N.: First Third Watch fic ever, so please be gentle. Hope you like it! Please RR.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Standing outside the quiet, dimmly lit, single room and looking inside through the wide observation window, he sighed. This wasn't right, it wasn't supposed to happen – never! Nobody was supposed to experience something like this, to suffer like this. Nobody deserved this. But it happened.  
  
These were the days he hated his job, hated to be forced to work like this. He hated to see it, hated to see the physical and psychological consequences. Hated the knowledge that he couldn't do much for support, that – for his patients – life as they knew it was over and would never be the same again. He couldn't stand the ER becoming a crime scene and the treatment become a search on evidence all at once.  
  
What he hated the most was the look in his patients' eyes – they looked so empty, emotionless - lifeless. Like they could never laugh again, or even feel.  
  
He crossed his arms before his chest and slowly turned around, heading to the nurse's desk looking at her.  
  
"Anything, so far?"  
  
He sounded impatient. The nurse gave him an apologizing smile.  
  
"They're still on their way doctor. The streets are pretty jammed, could take a couple more minutes."  
  
He nodded quickly and started to drum on the desk with his fingers. The nurse gave him another smile.  
  
"Doctor!"  
  
Her soft voice made him look down on her. He noticed what he was doing and stopped immediately.  
  
"Sorry!"  
  
In the meantime another nurse quietly entered the room to check the patient's IV. She didn't want to wake her. The girl had gone through a lot and would have to go through it once again soon enough, when the police would arrive to interview her. She needed some rest.  
  
The valium they had given her had calmed her down and she was breathing deep and steady. She had been in a pretty bad shape when she got here. She was hysterical and cried the whole time, screaming if anyone got closer than 3 feet. They finally grabbed and sedated her in order to work.  
  
How she lay there now - asleep – it didn't seem that bad after all. The injuries on her wrists had been bandaged and the cut on her forehead and lip had been treated, too. The other injuries were hidden beneath the blanket. But her outer appearance didn't do any justice to her actual state. It was bad, really bad.  
  
The physical damage wouldn't cause her pain, that would heal. The psychological effects would destroy her. The nurse headed to her, quickly checked the IV line and looked down on her full of empathy.  
  
"It will be okay, dear. It'll be okay."  
  
The doctor was just about to loose the last bit of his temper. He was turning from the nurse's desk to leave, when they finally appeared. He quickly took a few steps towards them.  
  
"There you are!"  
  
He said furiously, his impatience clearly audible. The two police officers looked at each other and back to the doctor. He got the second excusing smile for today.  
  
"We were stuck in traffic, Doc."  
  
The doctor nodded and calmed down a bit. Blaming the officers for taking so much time wouldn't help it and it definitely wouldn't change a thing.  
  
"So, what can we do for you?"  
  
With a gesture he signaled them to follow him.  
  
"It's one of my patients. Approximately 24 years old, female, ID unknown. You need to interview her."  
  
"What happened to her?"  
  
The doctor stopped in front of the room and took another sad look inside. He didn't look at the two officers when he answered.  
  
"She was raped."  
  
TBC ??? 


	2. Chapter 2

A.N.: Please RR  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Bosco was late - he knew he was - , but hell, it was a goddamn Monday. Who was in time on a Monday? He definitely wasn't. But his weekend had been long and last night had been rather exhausting, so he felt excused for being late. He smiled to himself when the memories reappeared. What a night!  
  
He jumped up the stairs, getting to the locker room. He was breathing at the top of his lungs when he finally arrived. He knew which look he would get from his partner, even before opening the door. As he entered the room, there it was: complete annoyance. She did it every Monday, over and over again. Like he would change as if by a miracle over the weekend, starting to be here in time on monday. Bosco had no idea what made her believe he would change – maybe some kind of Friday euphoria that lasted over the weekend and made here believe the world would be a better place on monday – it was her regular Monday first look on him. But it only lasted that first day of the week, by Tuesday, Faith again was used to him being late. It had become kind of a weekly ritual to them.  
  
"You're late!"  
  
"I know, I know. Just gimme a moment!"  
  
He got dressed quickly, taking another annoyed look from her and managed to be ready just in time for roll call. Faith sighed and shook her head.  
  
"It's ten minutes. What's so difficult on getting up ten minutes earlier?"  
  
She was murmuring more to herself than to anyone else. He gave her a big smile.  
  
"Nothing I guess?"  
  
He received a sigh and the third annoyed look for his question. He was at his best today, Faith thought, work hadn't even started.  
  
When roll call approached Bosco didn't even listen to a word that was said. His mind was drawn back to the last evening and night - the bar, the girl, the bedroom. He didn't even realize he was smiling again. He was completely lost in thought. Somebody tapped on his arm – Davis – he gave him a questioned look and Davis pointed into the Sergeants direction. He seemed furious.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
Bosco didn't completely understand what he meant in first place, but it didn't take long until he got it. He must've been smiling by the memories.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Messing up with the Sergeant was the last thing he wanted today. He tried to focus, but it was hard, really hard.  
  
"Have a safe shift."  
  
Finally they were released. He just hoped there would be a lot of work today. He needed to be distracted from his thoughts. But it was a Monday, people were always a little more cocky on Mondays, so chances of getting enough to do, were pretty high.  
  
Faith headed to him, but didn't say anything. She wasn't willing to talk about the little incident that just happened. She was sure he would tell her by himself soon enough. It seemed as if he had something on his mind he wanted to share, she could see it in the way he behaved. She was pretty sure she actually didn't wanna hear anything from him today, but against better knowledge she asked none the less.  
  
"So, how was your weekend?"  
  
He grinned at her and sighed deeply. Now she was absolutely sure that she didn't wanna know. She already regret asking him. She knew he could go on telling her for the whole shift. But he had some mercy with her.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me, if I told you."  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

A.N.: Please RR  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
The two policemen were about to enter the room when the doctor held them back. They looked pretty affected, they always did. Nobody ever got used to this and the day someone was no longer deeply touched, dulling had taken over empathy. Then it was time to stop. But these officers obviously were.  
  
"Wait a moment!"  
  
They stopped and gave him a puzzled look.  
  
"I'm gonna get one of the nurses to stay with you."  
  
"Why....?"  
  
The officer stopped in the midst of his question, understanding the doctor's reason for calling a nurse – a woman – to stay with them. The doctor had already left and came back with a young, brunette, hispanic nurse about two minutes later.  
  
"This is Maria, she's gonna stay with you. Please keep to any orders she has on you, concerning the patient. Basically I don't want you to step too close to her or force her to tell anything. Just ask her what she can remember and what she wants to talk about. Don't push too hard. She's been sedated a while ago, so if she's a little slow or monotone in answering, don't worry. If she gets hysterical again, you stop immediately. Understood?"  
  
"Sure, Sir."  
  
The doctor left them standing alone there with the nurse, who entered the room before them. She stepped to the bed and gently shook her patient's shoulder.  
  
"Miss?"  
  
She tried again and again, finally getting a moan from the woman in bed. She opened her eyes, scanned the room and widened them interror when she saw the two men. The nurse held her down and softly spoke to her.  
  
"Miss, you're in hospital. There's no need to worry. You're safe, nobody's gonna harm you. You need to calm down! Noone will hurt you. These men are from the police. They just wanna ask you a few questions."  
  
The woman seemed to calm a little. She directly looked at the nurse and addressed her in a weak voice.  
  
"Do I have to?"  
  
"You don't have to do anything, if you don't want to. But I believe you want. They're here to help you, to serve justice. Just tell them what you remember and if you don't wanna go on, it's okay. We can stop at any time you want and I'll stay with you and keep an eye on you. Okay?"  
  
The woman nodded slowly and one of the officers addressed her in a calm voice.  
  
"Mam' can you tell us your name?"  
  
"Judy, Judith Mandell."  
  
"Okay Miss Mandell, do you remember what happened to you?"  
  
"I...I...I can't..."  
  
The nurse gently squeezed her shoulder and gave her a look full of empathy. The woman took a deep breath.  
  
"I've been out last night, to a bar... to have a few drinks. I was alone and one of the ...the...one of the guys in there came over and asked me out on a drink. I was pretty tipsy and I felt lonely, so I said yes. We...we...we had a couple more drinks and for no reason I invited him to take me to my place. I didn't feel so good and I didn't wanna go home all alone!  
  
So,...he joined me. I don't even know how, but we ended up in my hall kissing each other. I...I stopped and told him to leave,...but...but he just didn't! I told him I needed to get up early and that I needed to go to bed. I...I was so goddamn stupid! I just left him standing there and went to the bedroom. He must've considered it an invitation. Next thing I know is, he's standing in the door to my bedroom smiling at me.  
  
I told him to leave and that I'd call the police if he wouldn't but nothing happened. He just stood there smiling. He...he...he entered the room...and he grabbed me and... There was nothing I could do! I tried to escape! I tried to scream! Tried to tell him to stop, but it wouldn't work! It just wouldn't work! He wouldn't...  
  
She started to cry silently, tears streaming down her face. The nurse gently caressed her shoulder and murmured to her that everything was okay. Then she adressed the cops.  
  
"That's enough for today. I think you should leave now!"  
  
"Okay, just one last question. You think you can do this, Miss Mandell?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do you recall the name of the man that attacked you? Did he tell you?"  
  
A few moments of silence followed, when her heavy breathing and her sobs were all they could hear, as she tried to get a hold on herself.  
  
"Yes, I do, I remember. His name's Maurice. Maurice Boscorelli.  
  
TBC??? 


	4. Chapter 4

A.N.: Sorry for the extra long wait. I'll try to update sooner now! Please RR none the less.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
By the time they stepped out of the room, the nurse looked so puzzled and lost in thought, the two police officers almost were concerned about her. She deeply thought about something, that seemed to be so unbelievable she barely could manage the thinking part. Saying a word was completly imposible. But she had to. Probably it was just some stupid mistake or her mind played tricks on her, feeding her with false memories and she was wrong. It just couldn't be! The doctor interrupted her in her thoughts.  
  
"Does she remember anything?"  
  
"Yeah, she does, but you know..."  
  
The nurse still somehow back in her thoughts, interrupted the younger cop in answering the doctor's question.  
  
"Doctor?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you recall having a patient named Boscorelli some days ago?"  
  
"Recall? I should be up on addressing him by his firts name! As often as I see him here! Almost consider the ER his second home, just can't keep himself outta trouble. I don't get that, I mean it's not he'd be so pleased to see us everytime he's forced to be here! Don't think I ever managed to have him stay over night. He hates this place! Just don't get it. But why are you asking me this?"  
  
The cop answered instead of her, he nodded to the young woman's room door.  
  
"That's him."  
  
The doctor needed some seconds to realize what they wanted to tell him. The slight smile vanished from his face.  
  
"Boscorelli? Maurice Boscorelli? You're sure?"  
  
"That's what she said."  
  
"But,..., I can't believe this" He's one of your own!"  
  
"Whadda you mean, one of our own?"  
  
"He's a cop, a police-officer!"  
  
Silence emerged. Nobody knew what to say about this, it was rather ubelievable. But in the end a person's job or better said the expections people had into a person doing this job never showed the real inside of someone. It didn't say anything about the being behind the uniform. The older cop swallowed hard.  
  
"You know which station he works at?"  
  
"No, not by heart, but I can get the file and look it up."  
  
"That'll be good."  
  
"55 David, this is Central."  
  
The radio awoke and Faith sighed silently once again this day, when her partner went for it. He'd been so eager to answer every goddamn call there had been, she just didn't get him. She felt tired and had been pretty grumpy for this part of the shift. His good mood and his overeagerness got on her nerves and she silently prayed for relief. She didn't like him having a bad day either, but this was unbearable. Sooner or later she'd just start to scream or she'd gonna kill him. She was in the desperate need of doing the one or other thing to feel better.  
  
"Central, this is 55 David."  
  
"55 David, head back to the station."  
  
Bosco approved the call and looked at Faith.  
  
"So what's that all about?"  
  
She shrugged and gave him a helpless look  
  
"I don't know, why don't we just go there and find out!"  
  
He turned left and left again at the next block, heading back to the station the fastest way possible. This had been inconvenient, he wondered, what it was all about.  
  
"You called them?"  
  
The detective from vice squad was impatient. He had arrived about ten minutes ago just to find out the person he was searching for, was out there somewhere. He'd been pretty furious at first, but the lady at the counter assured him she could call them in and Boscorelli would be here in no time. In the end, he was lucky he found him anyway. He obviously didn't feel guilty on anything, otherwise he wouldn't be here and do his job.  
  
"Yeah, I did. They head back and will be here in a few moments. Just hang on!"  
  
When they entered the station, they didn't even get a chance to get to the counter and find out what was going on. A man stepped directly into their path.  
  
"You Boscorelli?"  
  
"Yeah, what's all this about? Who are you?"  
  
"Detective Sheldon – vice squad. I need to talk to you!"  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Perhaps we should go somewhere quiet where we can talk eye to eye?"  
  
"Whatever you wanna know or wanna tell me, you can do it right here and now. I don't have time for this! I'm working!"  
  
The detective's expression became hard, he'd given him the chance to quietly step out of the situation, but he didn't want to. So if he wanted to make it hard on himself, wanted everyone in here to hear what he'd done, he would do him the favour.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, I'm here to inform you, you're under arrest."  
  
"What the hell...? What for?"  
  
"Rape. On Judith Mandell."  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

A.N.:  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
„What's this? Some sick joke? I fit is, it's not funny at all!"  
  
Faith was unable to say anythin. She knew she'd heard the words the detective had spoken, but she just couldn't get them into her mind. It was unbelievable - more than that – grotesque, impossible. It was not to happen, it just couldn't be!  
  
"I can assure you, I'm completly serious."  
  
The detective's voice was low and freezing cold – pure hatred emerged from it and even more disgust. In his mind this just seemed an atempt to get away from the situation, to get out of it – but it wouldn't work.  
  
"That's insane! You must be completly outta your mind!"  
  
"It's not that insane to the young woman lying in hospital, who told me so, don't you think?"  
  
"But I didn't do anything!"  
  
"That's kinda funny, because she perfectly recalls you doing something!"  
  
Faith finally found her speech once again. It must've been some terrible mistake. This was completly outta hand.  
  
"You absolutely sure?"  
  
"I don't have to be sure. I'm here on Miss Mandells testemony and she is completly sure! So you'll be joining me. Now!"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere! I told you – I didn't do anything to her. At least nothing against her will!"  
  
Faith suddenly stopped dead in everything she was about to be doing – deending him, talking to the detective, even thinking. She just stopped and focused on his last four words: "nothing against her will". She'd believed he didn't even know this woman, but she'd been wrong. The full gravity of his words striked her.  
  
It all made sense to her now: his good mood, his overeagerness, his behaviour. He perfectly knew this girl and he definitely had sex with her... She was unwilling, unable to think any further.  
  
Without even thinking about it, she took a step backwards, away from him, which he noticed.  
  
"Didn't you listen to me. I said you're under arrest, so you can join me willingly or I'll force you to!"  
  
The detective took a step closer and grabbed him by the arm, but Bosco wouldn't even react to him. He was completly puzzled by his partner's reaction  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"So you know her?"  
  
He could barely stand the way she asked him that question, but looking into her eyes was more than he could stand. He could see it, there it was: reproach. She believed...? Oh good lord – he thought. She really believed what the detective accused on him. She believed he'd done this! He could see it by the expression on her face. He tried to get to her, wanted to grab her by her arms, shake her, make her understand that she was wrong, that she had to believe him. But he was held back by the detective.  
  
"We leave! Now!"  
  
Bosco didn't even react to him, his whole word had shut down to that meaningful, reproachful, sad look in her eyes. Nothing else mattered by now, but to make her believe him.  
  
"Faith! You know this isn't true! You know I wouldn't do that! I would never! You know that!"  
  
She didn't even react to him, she turned around, not taking another look at him and the detective dragged him away from her.  
  
"You shut op now goddamn it! Don't make it even worse than it already is."  
  
"Worse?" he thought by himself. This guy oughta be joking. He'd been suspected on raping a woman and his partner didn't believe him. It couldn't get any worse. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:  
  
The detective took him to vice-squad and led him into an interrogation room, closing the door behind him and leaving him alone. He'd kept silent during the drive, not willing to say anything more that could harm him and he frantically thought about what had happened last night. He just couldn't believe, couldn't understand this. He honestly hadn't done any harm on this woman, at least as he could remember. She hadn't been hurt, she didn't struggle, she didn't tell him to stop – or did she?  
  
It had been a great night, a rough night, that's what he remembered perfectly, why he'd smiled about it. It was unbelievable – the way she'd screamed, winded and almost cried lying beneath... His thoughts suddenly stopped dead – screaming – winding – almost crying, good lord! What if he misunderstood, misread the signals? What if she really tried to get away? He couldn't finish the thought, he just couldn't. It was impossible! He wouldn't be mistaking like this, not like this, not if the consequences were that grave.  
  
You need to remember! he ordered himself. Remember what happened, what he said, not just remembering the emotions he had. He needed to clearly remember the situation, to remember her words. He was sure he hadn't done what they claimed on him. He just needed to remember.  
  
The detective entered the room again, holding a document in his hands, which he put on the desk. He sat down and looked at Bosco.  
  
"This", he pointed to the document, "is Judith Mandell's testemony to the two police officers first interviewing her. And we're going to see what's your point of view of the events. Now!"  
  
He kept silent. The detective couldn't force him to tell anything, especially as he didn't clearly remember. He couldn't do this right now, chances were high he'd say something he would remember in a different way some time later and than everything he stated earlier would sound like a lie. He needed time to focus before he could do this, just needed time.  
  
"No, we won't. I won't tell you anything! I don't have to!"  
  
"As you believe you haven't done anything wrong and there's nothing you have to hide you surely can. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't!"  
  
"I got the right to get a lawyer!"  
  
"You didn't do anything. What do you need a lawyer for?"  
  
"You suspect me of having raped a girl. I think I'm in a desperate need of a lawyer! And I won't tell you anything else!"  
  
The detective knew it was no use in trying to threaten him and try to force him to give evidence. He was a police-officer, he knew the routine, knew their way of working, how they forced people to talk. He wouldn't tell him a single word, so there was no need to fuss and fight with him any longer.  
  
"Alright, make your call, then!"  
  
Bosco called Andrew Manzini, the lawyer that had helped his mother through divorce and asked him to come over immediately. He didn't exactly tell him what happened and his lawyer didn't ask. He simply asked him to come and get him outta here as soon as possible and he agreed without asking any further. As they didn't have anything else than the girl's evidence, they had to set him free sooner or later, he just needed someone to manage this for him.  
  
His wish was fulfilled about two hours later, when the detective entered the interrogation room with a furious expression on his face and told him he could leave, but should stay in town. He hadn't even seen his lawyer yet, but he'd managed all the formalia right now, had prepaid the bail and had gotten him outta here in no time, without even clearly knowing what he did that for. The detective led him outta of the room and gave him into his lawyer's custody.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I'm not sure by now myself, so I can't tell you. I need some time to find out, to clearly remember, then I can tell you. So gimme tonight and I'll hopefully can tell you tomorrow?"  
  
"Alright, as you wish. But you know the instructions..."  
  
"Yeah, be available for police, not leaving town, stay away from the victim... I know!"  
  
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
He really liked the man. He was a goddamn good lawyer and he hadn't forced him to tell anything. He'd been patient and sensitive and he gave him all the time he needed in the world to sort out what had happened. He was a trustful person and he was blessed to have him here to help him out – hopefully...  
  
TBC 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:  
  
He entered his dwelling without switching on the lights and gently closed the door behind him. He took a moment, leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and breathed deeply - standing in the semi darkness of the familiar rooms.  
  
His lawyer had taken him back to the station and he drove home on his own from there. Now he tried to focus and although he seemed pretty restrained and calm on the outside, his mind was racing and shouting at him: Think! Think! But it didn't work. All the emotions he tried to get a hold on overtook his mind and didn't allow him to remember.  
  
The only thing that came back on his mind over and over again was the reproachful look in Faiths'eyes, when she realized that he knew the girl. And her way of talking to him, of believing he'd lied – but maybe he had – he wasn't so sure of it himself.  
  
"Stop it!" he ordered to himself silently.  
  
"You need to remember!"  
  
He knew it was the only way to find out. If he wouldn't clearly remember and could give evidence about that night, the girl's testimony was all police had, all that was a proof of that nights' events – the truth – it was the truth as long as he couldn't refute it.  
  
"Focus!"  
  
He closed his eyes once again. Getting back to the situation, to the bar and the bedroom wasn't that much of a problem. But what did she say? How did she react? Did she struggle against him? Did she tell him to stop? Did she panic or did she cry? Did she do it because she didn't want this to happen or because she liked what was happening between them? What did she do? What did he...? There was nothing or not enough on his mind to answer his question.  
  
"Goddamn it!"  
  
He said out loud.  
  
"You need to calm down. Relax!"  
  
Forcing it, wouldn't help and pushing too hard would block his memory just some more. He'd been pretty drunk that night anyway. So memory – real memory – not just some lovely flashbacks and the emotions belonging to them, would be kind of a problem.  
  
He walked through the apartment slowly and breathed deeply, trying to block the thoughts about work, the co-workers, his reputation, his career – Faith and tried to focus on the events of last night.  
  
It wasn't easy, really- it wasn't. He caught himself in drifting away over and over again. Wishing for a break, for relief. His mind definitely called for it and his physics weren't any better.  
  
He needed some rest, needed some sleep and after about two hours of trying it, of denying he needed relaxation and of stumbling to the rooms slowly, he gave in.  
  
He made his way to the bedroom, falling asleep almost immediately – still in his clothes – into an unpleasant, dreamless sleep.  
  
TBC... 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:  
  
When he woke up the next morning, he felt like he hadn't slept at all. He felt tired, uptight – almost sick, like he had drunken the whole night and now had a hangover. He wasn't sure what he had dreamed about, he just knew it wasn't very pleasing – whatever it had been.  
  
He got out of bed, tapped to the bathroom and got under the shower to get rid of the feeling – to literally wash it away. He had to be at his lawyer's office in about an hour to finally tell him what had happened and he still had no clear idea, what he should tell him.  
  
His memory was more clear now – he remembered some details of that evening with Judy, things that were said, but he still wasn't sure if he had done something wrong, if he had misread her signs, if he had done her harm. And if he didn't know, how should anyone else know, how should someone else defend him, if he himself wasn't capable of doing it. He had no answer to this question.  
  
He let the hot pouring water do it 's pleasing job and allow him to relax at last for a minute. He knew he had to face a lot today – his lawyer, his co-workers, his partner... He hadn't even thought of informing Faith he was back home, when he got here yesterday evening. He had been to tired, to tensed, to eager to find out what had happened that night. He quickly thought about doing it now, but he was pretty sure she was still in bed. She had an eight hour shift and probably had gotten home before one in the morning. She definitely was still asleep and he didn't wanna wake her up. But there was another thought, another feeling, another memory that kept him from calling her – he was afraid. Afraid of her reaction, afraid she would just hang up on him. He remembered the expression on her face, when he had told her that he knew Judy, the disbelief and the rejection when she realized there was at last some truth in the detective's accuse. He needed her to believe him and he didn't wanna call her and face the fact that she didn't. He just couldn't.  
  
He switched off the shower, got out of it and wrapped the towel around his hip. He walked back into the bedroom to get dressed and saw the blinking of the answering machine as he passed it by. He stopped and pressed the button to hear the notes he had received.  
  
"You have three new notes."  
  
The mechanic voice of the answering machine informed him. It played the first one and he could hear his mother's voice.  
  
"Maurice, this is Ma. I need to talk to you. Would you please call me back, when you get home... Bye."  
  
The machine beeped and played the next note, he had received shortly after the detective from vice-squad had taken him with him.  
  
"Boscorelli, this is Lieutenant Swersky. I'm not sure vice-squad will allow you to leave at all, but if you get home, I want to see you in my office tomorrow. There's a hell of a things you gotta explain and I'm pretty curious to hear that!"  
  
The machine beeped again and the last note was heard. "Hello, this is Manzini. I know it's early and your probably still in bed. I just called to remind you to be at my office at ten. I'll see you later, Goodbye."  
  
The lieutenant had sounded extremely furious and he could understand that. One of his officers had been accused of a crime and been taken into custody in the middle of the working routine without him even having a chance to intervene or even find out what was going on.  
  
His mother calling him surprised him. She normally just waited for him to visit her in the bar, if she wished to talk to him. She was a loving mother, but she knew he was grown up, so she would just leave him in peace. He believed it was probably about Mickey – he had gotten himself into some kind of trouble and now she wanted him to help. Something like this – it could wait right now. He couldn't talk to her; she would know that something was wrong the moment he would get into her sight and he couldn't tell her about this – didn't even know how.  
  
But what bothered him the most was that Faith hadn't tried to reach him, she hadn't called him. He had expected her concerned voice to be the first he would hear, had even expected her to call more than once, but she hadn't done it. Maybe she didn't have time for it – she had been working for the whole day – maybe she didn't wanna disturb him in the middle of the night as she finally got home or maybe she wanted to call this morning or wait for him to be at work. Maybe she didn't even believe he had been released and thought he was still at vice-squad. But to his mind the easiest and most painful explanation was, that she didn't believe him. She believed the detective's accuse to be true and him to be a rapist. It was hard and he just couldn't and didn't want to believe it, but the way it looked right now – it was the truth.  
  
He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought and continued his way back to the bedroom. He dropped the towel on the bed, searched some clothes to wear and got dressed quickly. Glancing to the watch on his bedside, it told him it was 8:45, his lawyer's office was downtown and he didn't wanna be late – for once in his life – so he had about an hour to get there. He thought about having some breakfast, but actually he wasn't hungry. The sickness he had felt when waking up still hadn't completely vanished and he didn't wanna count on it. So he skipped breakfast, got his keys and left his dwelling.  
  
He took the subway downtown, which took him about half an hour and got himself a coffee before he went to his lawyers office. It was about 9:40 when he arrived there, so he was too early, but surprisingly his lawyer was already awaiting him. He immediately had the feeling he had misunderstood his note on the answering machine and he was too late. He never ever had seen a lawyer waiting for his client, unless he was much too late.  
  
"Am I late?"  
  
"No, you're not – but I was pretty sure you would be here earlier and I didn't wanna let you wait. You wanna come in?"  
  
Manzini pointed to his private office.  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
"You want some coffee?"  
  
"No, I just had some." His lawyer smiled, allowed him to step in first and closed the door behind him. He sat down at his desk and offered Bosco a seat.  
  
"So, what happened down there at vice-squad yesterday. What have you done?"  
  
"What do you know?"  
  
"The only thing I know is that you were arrested for a crime you normally should've stayed in prison for. And as it is vice-squad, it was probably rape..."  
  
Once again he realized that Manzini was a goddamn good lawyer. He knew what had happened and he had helped him without even asking a single question about it. He had given him the time to think about it, he had prepaid and he had trusted him not to leave the state. He owed him a lot and he at last owed him to be completely honest.  
  
"They believe I raped a girl I met in my mother's bar."  
  
"So, did you?"  
  
He had known he would ask this question. It was no offence, it was just a neutral question – he also liked Manzini for this. He wasn't one of these guys, who talked and talked without ever getting to the important point and wanting money for this crap. He was precise, he got to the point and he didn't waste time with amenities. He just wanted to know what was going on and then he decided what to do next.  
  
"No."  
  
"What makes them believe you did it then?"  
  
"The girl testified."  
  
"If she testified, something must've happened? Did you have sex with her?"  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"But you didn't force her?"  
  
"No, at least I believe I didn't. I mean how could I be misreading signals like this, with such grave consequences? But obviously one of us did – otherwise I wouldn't be here."  
  
"Obviously yeah. You clearly remember what happened?"  
  
"Not a hundred percent, but yes I do."  
  
"Okay then, I want you to tell me anything you remember. I know you will have to do it again at vice-squad tomorrow and you will have to go there for identification tonight. But the more often you recall the events, the better it is. I'll stay by your side at vice-squad, and I'll intervene as soon as you say something different from your first statement you'll make here. And don't try to be polite or something – just tell me everything that happened, to the last detail you remember. Can you do this?" He hesitated for a moment. That was a big question, a big thing. He didn't want to, he just wished to leave this place, but he had to stay, had to tell him. If he wanted or not.  
  
"Okay."  
  
His lawyer took a dictating machine, some sheets of paper and a pencil and gave him an encouraging look.  
  
"I'm ready. Just start at the beginning, tell me how you met her, the rest will come while talking. Don't make it too hard on yourself. Just tell me."  
  
And Bosco did... 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:  
  
Bosco left the building, not even sure what to do now. His lawyer had wanted him to be at vice-squad at about six this afternoon – for a line-up to prove the girls evidence. So he had about four more hours to go and nothing to distract himself. He knew he couldn't go home – he couldn't stand being there – all alone – trying once again to remember everything as clearly as he could. But there was no other place he could go.  
  
He thought about going to see his mother – she didn't know about the last days' events, she didn't know what he was accused for, but he knew she would find out. She was his mother, she could see when there was something bothering him, when there was something on his mind and he knew she wouldn't stop asking him until he would tell her. He didn't want that to happen, he didn't wanna talk about this, didn't wanna explain, didn't wanna justify himself – not on her.  
  
When he crossed the parking-space to get to his car, he could see someone arriving – Faith. He stopped, now knowing what he wanted to do. He needed to talk to her, needed to tell her what happened, needed to convince her. He needed her help, her advice, her support to make it through this. He knew he couldn't do this all alone – he needed a refuge, a friend he could stick to.  
  
He went to her car and stopped about 3 feet away, giving her enough space to decide what to do, to leave if she wished for it. he knew he needed to be careful, he couldn't force her toor get too close, he couldn't get physical to make her see – it would only give more evidence against him.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
She turned around – not even looking surprised or puzzled – just gave him a sad look and didn't say anything. He felt how he got nervous more and more, he didn't like that look and her silence irritated him and it feared him.  
  
"Can I have a few minutes,..., please."  
  
She gave him another look, still not saying anything. Then she sligthly closed her eyes and nodded.  
  
"Okay."  
  
He was almost about to sigh in relief but he surpressed it.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
They went to a coffee shop on the other side of the street and sat down in a quiet corner of the shop. She gave him an expectant gaze and he started talking with some difficulty.  
  
"Faith, I need you to understand, I need you to believe me, I need you..."  
  
He silenced when she raised a hand and slowly shook her head. His fear was back on him – she wouldn't listen to him. She would leave – never giving him a chance to explain. But he needed to!  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"What happened, Bosco?"  
  
He stopped talking and gave her a puzzled look.  
  
"What?"  
  
She looked him directly into the eyes, giving him a hard look.  
  
"I want you to tell me what happened, exactly – no excuses, no lies. Just tell me!"  
  
"I didn't do that!"  
  
She raised and was about to leave the table they were sitting at. Fear overtook him once again and he didn't care about the idea of being careful any more, he just couldn't let her leave liken this. He grabbed her by the arm.  
  
"Faith, wait!"  
  
She stopped and didn't even look at him, her voice was freezing cold.  
  
"Let go of my arm!"  
  
He set her free immediately.  
  
"Please don't leave like this."  
  
"Then just tell me!"  
  
"I didn't..."  
  
"Do you know that girl?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did you have sex with her?"  
  
He nodded once again. Faith sat back down. Her look was still cool, but at least she was willing to listen to him. She couldn't look him in the eyes when she asked, almost whispered her next question.  
  
"Did you rape her?"  
  
"No. Not as far as I can remember."  
  
Now she looked at him.  
  
"As far as you can remember?"  
  
"Hell- Faith, I was pretty much drunk and drowsy that nigth and my memory is a little blocked. I'm still trying to clearly figure out what happened. I don't remember everything, but from what I remember I know I didn't harm her."  
  
Sympathy had reappeared in her voice when she went on questioning him.  
  
"But why should she do this?"  
  
"I have no idea – not even a clue. But whatever her reason was, I need to find out. The only thing I know is that I didn't hurt her."  
  
Silence emerged between them. It seemed like Faith was deeply thinking about something – she was almost lost in thought. He eagerly wished for her to say something, make a decision, tell him what she thought about it. he couldn't take this any longer.  
  
"Do you believe me?"  
  
She gave him a sympathetic look.  
  
"Of course I do. So what do you want to do now?"  
  
"I need to be at vice-squad for line-up at six and they want me to give my testemony tommorrow night. I...I wanted to ask you, if you would join me,..., if you could be there tonight. I don't think I can do this,..., alone. Would you?"  
  
"I'm supposed to work, you know. So lay too much on it. But I promise I'll try."  
  
"Thanks Faith, thanks for – well – everything."  
  
He got up being ready to leave.  
  
"No problem, Bosco. I see you tonight."  
  
TBC 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:  
  
Judy arrived at vice-squad at about 4 with the state's attorney, who was in charge on her case. She was supposed to repeat her testemony today and tell them anything else that got onto her mind since she first filled in the charge. The state's attorney had picked her up from the hospital where she had to stay for the night.  
  
She'd been very sympathetic, trying to calm her and assure her that everything would be alright, that she would make it through with no difficulty. She told her not to be too nervous or afraid, people where there to help her. She'd never thought a state's attorney to feel so much empathy for someone. She really liked the woman, she felt like she could trust her – she felt safe with her.  
  
She had been silent during their drive, captured in her thoughts and the attorney didn't force her to talk. Both of them knew it wasn't easy, it was a crucial moment – the first step into direction of a trial – and it was painful, extremly painful to be forced to relive this all over again, every second of it, every last detail. But there was no other way. As painful as it was – she needed to get through it – for the sake of the final result.  
  
She entered the building lead by the state's attorney and they were welcomed by a detective, who introduced himself as Karl Sheldon, the detective in charge on her case. He was very careful on her – she noticed that. It was probably due to the job as a vice-squad detective. He stood several feet away from her – leaving her room, he had addressed her quietly, avoided to move around abruptly – especially towards her and he hadn't forced her to give him the hand. He was handling the fact that she was the victim of a violation very carefully and he did it very good.  
  
"Miss Mandell – as state's attorney Devaney probably told you already – we're going to record your testemony once again, as detailed as you can remember. I'll give you some time for a break afterwards, so you can have a hold on yourself and the situation again. And then I need you back here for line-up to clearly identify your attacker. She had listened intentively and nodded to his proposal now, but didn't say anything.  
  
"We gonna go to one of the interrogation rooms now. Don't worry, you won't be alone. The state's attorney will stay with you and me all the time. I don't want you to push too hard, just tell me what happened and what you can remember and try to answer my questions if you can. Don't force anything – it's of no use. You need anything before we start?"  
  
"Some water would be nice."  
  
She said shyly. The state's attorney considered an invitation on her, too.  
  
"If you would get me a coffee, please?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
He came back two minutes later with the beverages and gave them to them. They sat down.  
  
"I would like you to tell me about the events from the moment you entered the bar until you go to hospital, please. Can we have a start then?"  
  
She took a deep breath and nodded slightly.  
  
Flashback  
  
She entered the bar at about eleven, dressed in a tight dark blue jeans and a wide cut dark wine red top made out of silk with a floral stitchery on it. she was wearing high heels, a silver watch and a necklace. Her long dark blonde hair was open and smoothly fell down her back. She was having discreet make up on her face, underlining her deep blue eyes and her full lips. She was looking gorgeous, absolutely beautiful – and she knew that.  
  
She went to the counter, sat down and ordered herself a cocktail. She took an inconspicious look through the room while waiting for her drink. Some elder man were sitting at the counter with her and a bunch of younger people, but still older than her were sitting in the back of the bar, playing a card game – probably poker. When she looked back to the counter, the bartender had already put down the drink in front of her. She took it and sipped at it, carefully tasting and letting the flavour of it smooth her tongue. She loved that first taste of an ice-cold drink. It mostly was the best thing of an evening. She wasn't sure of staying long, she just wanted to have a bit of a good time and then she'd go home early enough , being a bit tipsy but not having a hangover the next morning.  
  
She took her time alone to think about the events that would be coming up to her in the next few days. She just moved here not even a week ago and would start her new job tomorrow on Monday. She didn't have an own dwelling by now, living at an old school friend's place, who – working as a stewardess – wasn't home very often and neededsomeone she could share the enormous rent with. Except for her, she didn't know anyone in the city, but she was willing to change that and that was what made her come to the bar since she had arrived and got the few things she had packed into her friend's dwelling 8 days ago. It was a new start for her, a chance – she smiled by the thought of it and took another full sip of her drink.  
  
About three quarters of an hour later – she had just ordered her drink – three guys, slightly older then her, entered the bar. One of them a tall black male, the other with an obviously hispanic background and the third probably with some kind of european forefathers. While the two set down, the third one directly headed to the female bartender and received a kiss from her. They definitely were related in some way – probably his mother.  
  
She could literally feel his eyes on her, when he returned to the other two, walking behind her, another slight smile emerged from her lips. Seemed like she wasn't the only one who knew she was good looking tonight.  
  
"Ma, would you get us three beers?"  
  
She could hear him ask behind her. Now she definitely knew they were relatives.  
  
"Sure honey."  
  
She was eager and slightly amused how to see how the evening would proceed;: reading the signs right – he obviously felt attracted to her and she was willing to have a little fun tonight – a little bit of talking, flirting and drinking – she just needed to show him. That made her spent the next half an hour with slightly glancing over from time to time and innocently smiling at him, while he was chatting with the two other guys. Although he gave her a hard time barely responding to her. She was absolutely positve they were talking about her. She could see it in the way his comrades behaved, but she really wasn't up to that kind of game tonight. She needed some easy going stuff, nothing too hard to achieve; and sitting here and waiting for him to do something definitely hadn't been her plan for tonight. She was about to get up and leave, when he finally came over.  
  
"You want another drink?"  
  
He asked pointing to the emptied glass in front of her.  
  
"Actually,..., yeah – why not."  
  
He ordered her another cocktail and sat down beside her.  
  
"You were really giving me a hard time."  
  
She stated, sounding almost offended, but smiled at him none the less.  
  
"With what?"  
  
"With making me get you here."  
  
She received a grin for that.  
  
"Well sorry, but your getting the drink as an excuse."  
  
"Thanks then. That's really generous!"  
  
"Isn't it?...So, you got a name?"  
  
"I'm Judy. What about you?"  
  
"Bosco."  
  
"Where did you get that from ?"  
  
"It's a nickname..."  
  
"So, what's your real name ?"  
  
"It's Maurice."  
  
"And where did the nickname come from?"  
  
"It's a short form of Boscorelli."  
  
"Your last name?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Sounds italian."  
  
"Smart girl."  
  
"Thanks to the compliment."  
  
"I don't think I've ever seen you here before...?"  
  
"I assume that would mean you're here rather often?"  
  
"As it is my mother's bar..."  
  
"Yeah, I already got that. That doesn't make it that much surprising."  
  
"So...?"  
  
"Oh yeah: you never saw me here before, cause I just moved to N.Y. about a week ago."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I'm starting a new job as a nursery teacher in an orphanage."  
  
"Sounds like one of the most stressful jobs one could have."  
  
"You think so? What about you – your job that relaxing?"  
  
"No, not likely."  
  
"So, what do you do?"  
  
"I'm working for NYPD."  
  
"You're a cop? And you thought my job to be stressful?"  
  
"Well, it has a lot of – kids – involved."  
  
"Necessarily, yeah. But I think criminals are more stressful than a child ever can be – and more dangerous."  
  
"Depends on the child, I guess."  
  
They were taking some more time, drinking, talking, laughing with each other and she felt how she got more and more tipsy and also tired with every drink she was taking. As much fun as it was and as much enthusiasm as he had in keeping her awake, she needed to get home and get some sleep. She was supposed to be at work at about 12 tommorrow to get a first introduction and start her routine on Tuesday. That was about ten more hours to go and not even eight hours of sleep, considering that she needed to get up earlier to get properly dressed and drive there. She really needed her bed – desperately.  
  
"I don't wanna be rude, but I really need to get some sleep."  
  
Somehow, she didn't even know how, a thought came to her mind. She knew she was tired, almost drowsy and it was late and he – for the matter of moment that seemed a good thing to her – was a cop. She wasn't afraid of anything, but she was careful. Having someone at hand, who could protect her wasn't the worst thing to happen.  
  
"Would you take me to my place? I don't feel that good."  
  
He hesitated for a moment, taking a close look at her – obviously trying to figure out what she wanted, but then he nodded.  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
She had a hold on hisarm while they were walking back the three blocks to her dwelling without saying a word. She had her eyes half closed, letting him lead, for she had told him where to go and breathed in the cold night air deeply. She didn't have a rocky stomach, she just felt a little lightheaded.  
  
When they arrived at her place and she opened her purse to find her keys, she started to giggle. She gave him an absolutely innocent look.  
  
"I can't find them, goddamn it. Would you help me?"  
  
He gave her a slight smile, took her purse and searched for her keys.  
  
"Don't you steal anything – you hear me!"  
  
She stated, still half smiling, as he gave the purse back to her and shook her keys he had in hands.  
  
"Police – you forgot that?"  
  
"Yeah, sure – I remember. So – hopefully – that means I can trust you."  
  
He didn't answer, he just smiled, put the key to the lock and opened the front door for her.  
  
"You need anything else? A helping hand, a lift upstairs, someone to bring you to bed?"  
  
She took the keys from the door, stepped inside and turned around to face him. She didn't wanna be rude – she had given obvious signals, but she really didn't want him to stay. She needed to sleep. But as she was tipsy and that made her sentimental – her bad conscience won above the wish to sleep.  
  
"You want some coffee?"  
  
"Actually – I would love to."  
  
She entered the apartment building fully, grabbed the handle and went up the stairs to second floor to get to her dwelling. Bosco followed her, having a close look on her movement, being alarmed so she wouldn't fall down the stairs. The possibility was there at last. She stopped in front of the door and giggled again as it took her some time to open the door. With the moment she opened the door – knowing that the bed was only a few steps away – she felt the tiredness overwhelm her. She turned around slowly, blocking the way and leaving him standing in the doorway.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I think I'm a bit more tired then I thought. I really need to get some sleep..."  
  
He didn't say anything for a moment, but she could see by the expression on his face, that he wasn't all so happy with her decision.  
  
"Okay – you wanna say goodnight then?"  
  
"Yeah. Good ..."  
  
She didn't get to say "Night" as he leaned forward to actually kiss her good night and as she still had a bad conscience about attracting him first and now leaving him standing here, she gave in and allowed him to do it. When they were letting go of each other, he was heavily breathing and she immediately realized it would be even harder to make him leave. She got close to him and tried to tell him – as less offensive and soft as she could, so she wouldn't hurt his feelings, that he needed to go.  
  
"I'm very, very tired, I really need to go to bed."  
  
It was too late she realized it had sounded more like an invitation than an actual goodbye. But she didn't care any more. She turned away, headed to her bedroom and just hoped for him to understand the move and leave. She knew it wasn't the safest way to get rid of someone, she better should've told him the hard way, but she was too tired and too drunk to face him once again. But when she entered her bedroom, her top already taken off, he was behind her, grabbing her, turning her to him and kissing her passionately. She didn't even get a chance to insist against him. She felt the pressure of his body against hers as he pushed her to the bed. The strong grip of his hands as he was holding her down on the bed. She was unable to react – just was letting it happen. Her mind screamed to her to do something, to react – to struggle, to scream to do at last something. But she couldn't – she just couldn't believe what was happening. She felt like she had turned to stone. She had her clothes taken off, lying beneath him, unable to get away, unable to make him stop and did something or allowed him to do something she didn't really want. And then from one moment to another – as if somebody pushed a button, she was able to fight. She moaned, she winded underneath him – she struggled against his grip, but it wouldn't work. She couldn't get free. She was so weak, so powerless, so vulnerable – she couldn't make him stop. She was just able to try to escape and to wait – to wait for it to end and for him to leave. He finally rolled over, giving her free, sighed deeply and rose to head to the bathroom. She rolled herself together into a prenatal position, trying to protect her naked, exposed body and closed her eyes. When he came back, she pretended to be asleep, so he would just leave – leave her alone. And for once since she had entered her dwelling, she was lucky. He got dressed after he realized she was asleep and left...  
  
End of flashback  
  
Judy was crying silently when she had finished her testimony about the night she had been violated. The state's attorney was gently rubbing her back and tried to soothe her. The detective gave her a look full of empathy.  
  
"I know this is very hard for you, Mrs. Mandell and I'm so sorry you have to go through this once again. But if you want your attacker to be sentenced, there – unfortunately – is no other way."  
  
She nodded without saying a word. She knew that herself and she had known before that it would be painful for her.  
  
"May I leave now?"  
  
She asked in a shaky voice and by the expression on the detective's face she knew that he wanted nothing more but to say yes. But he couldn't.  
  
"No. I'm sorry. You still have to identify your attacker. It'll only take a few minutes and then you can leave.  
  
She shook her head slowly and rose from her chair.  
  
"Okay, let's get this done. I'm sorry, but I can't stay here any longer than absolutely necessary.  
  
The detective gave her a smile.  
  
"I fully understand this."  
  
He stepped out of the room, lead her down the floor and into another room with a wide glass window. She mildly panicked when she saw the glass, but the detective assured her not to be afraid.  
  
"Don't worry, it's doubled glass – they can't see you. You only can see them..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
The detective knocked to the window and the officer standing behind it opened a door to let a few men get inside and line up in front of the window. Judy didn't even need a few seconds to identify her attacker, her rapist.  
  
"It's him – I'm absolutely sure!"  
  
She directly pointed to Bosco... 


	11. Chapter 11

A.N.:  
  
Chapter 11:  
  
Faith had tried to be at vice-squad in time. She had told Bosco she would come, had promised to herself she would do, wanted to help him through this, but now she was too late. She and Sully had a call of domestic violence, right when she was about to call in at the prencinct and inform them they would take a break. But they had been quicker than her. So they had to drive half through the district, call an ambulance, calm a crying wife and arrest a furious husband they needed to take back to the prencinct before she finally had a chance to leave and stand by her partner's side.  
  
She actually hadn't wanted Sully to join her. He and Bosco didn't get along so well and Faith was almost sure Sully believed the accuse put in her partner. He wouldn't be that much of a help. But he had insisted to come with her, out of a motivation she couldn't understand and now they were both standing in the foyer of vice-squad and the woman at the counter had just informed them Bosco had already arrived and Judy Mandell was in for identification. Faith couldn't even imagine his probable feelings when he realized she wasn't there. But she didn't want him to believe she didn't care, that she didn't wanna offer her help to him. So she decided to stay and wait for him.  
  
When Bosco left the room and looked at his lawyer's face – he knew Judy had identified him as her rapist. Manzini had told him he would ask the detective about it and his expression clearly stated that the detectives answer hadn't been what he wanted to hear – definitely not. Bosco didn't dare to get closer to him, didn't dare to ask him, but his lawyer gave him no chance to escape.  
  
"She identified you."  
  
He stated in a rather emotionless tone. He himself didn't know how to react to that. He couldn't believe it –just couldn't. He needed time, time to cope with this, time to realize what was happening to him...  
  
When he had arrived here he had been filled with hope, he had that irrational feeling, Judy would finally realize she had made a mistake and he would be free of her accuse. He had been nervous, but not afraid. He had known he wouldn't be alone, he wouldn't have to go through this alone. Faith would be there, she would help him through. But when he entered the vice-squad building she wasn't there. She wasn't there ten minutes later when his lawyer arrived, she wasn't there when he had to wait for the detective and she wasn't there when they finally called him in. He had been all alone, she hadn't come – she had left him alone, although she had told him she would try and he had believed she really would. Had believed she thought he was telling the truth. But obviously he had been wrong. Otherwise he wouldn't stand around here without any one to assure him everything would be okay. He mainly was annoyed by his partner's mother like behavior towards him, but today he really had been in a desperate need of it – in need of a friendly face.  
  
"So what's happening next?"  
  
He asked in a choking voice and without looking at his lawyer.  
  
"The detective wants to talk to you once again..."  
  
Bosco sighed soundlessly by the thought of seeing the detective again. He wasn't sure he could actually do this.  
  
"Can I have a minute?"  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
Bosco left his lawyer alone and crossed the floor to get to the foyer's front door and get some fresh air. When he entered the foyer he stopped abruptly. He wasn't sure it was real what he was seeing, he hadn't believed in it happening. Faith was there. She was just standing there, in the middle of the damn foyer, waiting for him. She had come. She saw him and gave him a smile. She was saying something to Sully standing beside her and then she came over to him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
She sounded almost shy when she addressed him.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"I'm sorry, I tried to be here in time, but we had a call and I couldn't..."  
  
He was so happy by her words. She had tried, she had really wanted to come. He had been all wrong about her motivation, about her feelings towards the accuse put on him, about her believes.  
  
"It's okay, Faith. It's okay. Don't worry."  
  
She hesitated a moment for she didn't know if she should actually ask him. She was afraid of the answer.  
  
"So, how did it go?"  
  
He paused and didn't look at her. Needed moments and moments to answer her, so she already knew what he wanted to tell her.  
  
"She identified me..."  
  
"I'm sorry... How do you feel?"  
  
He gave her an annoyed look due to her question. Talking about his feelings actually was the last thing he wanted right now. But she was just trying to help him and he knew that, just that he didn't wanna say it out loud. It was hard to confess.  
  
"I guess I'm afraid..."  
  
He said in a very calm voice, almost whispered and didn't dare to look at her.  
  
"I know it's hard to believe, but it'll be okay... There'll be a solution..."  
  
She didn't get a chance t soothe him any more, when his lawyer turned around the corner and yelled his name.  
  
"Bosco!"  
  
He gave her an excusing look.  
  
"I need to go – the detective wants to talk to me... Don't you wait for me, it's okay..." She nodded and he turned around, leaving her standing here.  
  
He wasn't even out of her sight for a minute and she was still standing there thinking about the consequences of his confession, of the fact that Judy still accused him, when she saw the state's attorney enter the foyer from the floor laying behind, with a young woman walking besides her. She needed a few seconds until she realized who this was. She had just met Judith Mandell. And there was something about her that made her stop dead in tracks. Faith was still deeply lost in thought, when Sully who finally had come over to talk her into leaving this place, touched her by the arm. She winced by his touch.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
She didn't answer, she tried to get a hold on her thoughts, on her feelings, that feeling of knowing something, but not being sure of it.  
  
Sully was just about to ask her again, when she finally reacted.  
  
"I know her from somewhere."  
  
That was what she was thinking, what she wasn't really sure of. But the girl's face seemed so familiar as if she'd seen her before, probably a long time ago, not for long – somewhere, but she knew her. Sully on the other hand didn't seem to get her in first place.  
  
"What?"  
  
Faith gave him an annoyed look.  
  
"The girl!"  
  
"You know her?"  
  
"I'm not sure of it, but she seems so familiar..."  
  
Sully interrupted her, gently holding her by the arms.  
  
"Stop it Faith, it's no use..."  
  
She knew what he wanted to say: she shouldn't be to eager on believing in that mystery she'd made up. She should try to get along with the truth, try to accept the facts, to accept reality. Get along with the suspision being aproved, with the fact that Bosco actually raped that girl. But she just couldn't.  
  
"I know her! Stop telling me that I don't! I'm just not completly sure where I know her from."  
  
Sully sighed quietly and gave her a look of empathy. He understood, why she insisted like this, why she behaved this way, why she was so stubborn. He wished for it not to be true, too, but it was. The facts were overwhelming – there was no use in denying it.  
  
"Faith..."  
  
"A case! That's where I know her from!"  
  
She called out suddenly. There it was – the thought she needed to get a hold on. She knew her from some case, she and Bosco had, but that really must've been some time ago. The girl was probably still a teenager than.  
  
Sully tried again.  
  
"Faith, you don't know her. You wish for it and I fully understand..."  
  
"No, don't you get it? I know her, we both do and she knows Bosco! I just have to find out what we were working on. Don't you see – he might be telling the truth! She has a motive..."  
  
She needed to stop that dreamlike wishing, stop believing in this illusion she'd made up to endure her partner's behaviour – his crime.  
  
"Stop it now! Listen to yourself! There's no big fucking mystery beneath this!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"You really believe that some mysterious girl from your past has stepped forth to seek revenge in a way like this for something that has happened years ago? You really do believe that? Open your eyes, Faith! You can't be serious. You can't seriously think this to be more probable than Bosco raping the girl!"  
  
She didn't even look at him, didn't even answer. She probably hadn't even listened to a word he'd been saying.  
  
"I gotta go."  
  
He wasn't sure what she was up to, but he just hoped her desperate need of denying reality would be over soon. She needed to realize this being true and if she had to run through all the files of the past few years, before she finally could let loose, he wouln't keep her from doing it. It was the final result of her starting to cope with the truth, better late than never, that counted.  
  
TBC 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:  
  
As the detective had wanted him to, Bosco got back to vice-squad the following afternoon. His lawyer had told him they would meet there and had wanted him to be there in time. Although there was no more chance for a good first impression, it couldn't harm if they wouldn't let the detective wait. He entered the foyer of the department and – once again – Manzini was already waiting for him. He asked himself how this guy did that. Didn't he have anything else to do? He had had a whole free day and he hadn't managed to be here before him.  
  
"I'm not late, am I?"  
  
His lawyer gave him a slight smile and reached out a hand to greet him.  
  
"No, you're not. I had been round the place – I had to be at court for a case – so I came here right afterwards..."  
  
He didn't get the chance to explain anything else as detective Sheldon entered the foyer and gave them a sign to follow him. He was walking front and without a word of hello or any explanation he lead them into one of vice-squad's interrogation rooms, where he finally turned around to face them.  
  
"Sit down."  
  
They both followed the detective's instruction, but Bosco could see by the expression on Manzini's face that it was the last thing he wanted to do. He definitely disliked the way the detective was behaving.  
  
"As I already told you – Mrs. Mandell has already given her testimony and she repeated it yesterday. So now we're here to hear your view of the events. Can we have a start then?"  
  
Manzini nodded without saying a word and got out his notes, he had written down, when Bosco had been at his office yesterday morning, so he could check if Bosco's testimony at his office would fit the one he would give today. Bosco himself seemed to be extremely nervous. He wasn't sure if he could do this, didn't want to do it and he was concerned – you could even say afraid of the consequences that might occur from it.  
  
"Where am I supposed to start?"  
  
He asked almost shyly. The detective gave him an impatient look.  
  
"Mrs. Mandell started to tell me about the events up from the point of your first meeting."  
  
Bosco nodded nervously and tried to focus. He knew the more nervous and less concentrated he was, the greater the danger was he would forget something or not remember it clearly. He breathed in deeply and then he faced the detective.  
  
"I met her in my mother's bar Saturday night at about 11 p.m. I was there with two co-workers of mine and we just wanted to have a relaxed evening with a little bit of talking and drinking – nothing big... So when we arrived there, she was already there, sitting at the counter having a drink. She was good looking and I admit I felt attracted to her, but I wasn't really in the mood for anything more than having a drink that night. None the less, I was having a closer look at her, as I passed her by to say hello to my Mom, and I really liked what I saw. But as I was there with some friends I didn't address her, went back to them and waited for the evening to proceed. So, for the next hour or so – she was trying to attract me, giving me looks and smiles and when we decided t finally leave, I went to talk to her..."  
  
"So you mean she was giving you signs?"  
  
"Yeah, she did."  
  
"Alright, go on."  
  
Bosco had frowned by the detective's question, but he didn't dare to ask him why he wanted to know this. Did Judy testify something different? Was this of importance? Did the detective believe he had misread the signals? Looking at Sheldon's impatient expression told him that now it wasn't the time to think about this. He concentrated once again.  
  
"We were sitting down there for a while, talking about each other's jobs and she told me why she moved here – stuff like that. We were joking, laughing and talking. We were – well – flirting. She was having two or three more drinks and I could see her getting more and more tipsy and drowsy. It was just a matter of time until she would have fallen asleep right away. So after about an hour of talking or so, she told me she needed to get up early and asked me to take her home. We were leaving and, after she told me where she lived, I lead her to her place and I helped her opening her front door as she couldn't find her keys. We were joking a bit and she was giggling to the fact of her tipsiness. I opened the door for her and asked her if she needed anything else – like a lift or a helping hand. I think she took a moment to sort out what I wanted. If I was trying to get a chance to end up in her bedroom or if I just was concerned and wanted to help her. So she smiled at me and asked me if I would like a coffee. I said I would like to. We went upstairs and she was slightly wavering as we went upstairs – I just hoped she wouldn't fall backwards and down the stairs... She tried to open her dwelling's front door and started to giggle once again, cause she had difficulties doing it. When she finally had managed to do it, she went in turned around, gave me a coquette smile and told me she had just realized she hadn't any coffee in the house and she actually didn't even like drinking it. I told her that it was no problem... Next thing happening was her leaning in and kissing me..."  
  
The detective frowned at him and interrupted his testimony.  
  
"Wait a second – she was kissing you? It was her initiative?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"You know you're under oath and if you lie to me... You're sure it was like this ?"  
  
Bosco started to get angry at the detective, he asked himself what he was so troubled about.  
  
"Yeah, I'm absolutely sure about this. Why should I lie about it? She was there with me and if I would lie to you, you would know, because she definitely told you the truth! She is the victim, she has no reason to lie. So I wouldn't lie to you either – you would know..."  
  
"Okay – go on."  
  
"When we stopped I asked her if she wanted me to come in, but she didn't say anything, she just turned around and went inside, so I followed her. She told me she was tired, went through the dwelling to her bedroom door and started to drop off her clothes while walking there. She turned to me again, standing in the doorframe of her bedroom only wearing her bra and a slip and she told me she needed to go to bed and she was tired..."  
  
"Did she sound offended or afraid in any way?"  
  
"No, not as I remember it. I felt she sounded pretty much ... sexy. It sounded more like an invitation than a statement... like she wanted to tell me she didn't wanna go to bed alone."  
  
"So what did you do?"  
  
"I followed her into her bedroom, took her by her arms, turned her around and close to me and kissed her once again and she kissed me back – it was pretty passionate..."  
  
Bosco hesitated for a moment, he felt extremely uncomfortable to tell the detective about the events happening next, about his sexual relationship with that girl. But the detective didn't seem to care, he was impatient.  
  
"Go on!"  
  
"I was letting her go and she was taking a few steps backwards to let me into the dwelling fully. She was licking her lips I just kissed and then she asked me if I wanted something else than coffee. She came close to me and told me she felt so very tired and needed to sleep. Then she turned around and took off her top. I took off my shirt and she was still standing there smiling at my invitingly. I managed to get rid of my jeans, took her by the arms and forced her to the bed... but neither did she tell me to stop, nor did she try to escape from my grip or struggle against it. She just allowed me to do it. She lay down below me and we dropped the rest of our clothes, kissing each other even more passionate now. She was moaning in pleasure while we did and she still didn't say anything..."  
  
"So you were holding her down?"  
  
"Yeah, but..."  
  
"Did she have a chance to escape from your grip?"  
  
"No, but she..."  
  
"So you forced her!"  
  
"No, I didn't! She didn't tell me to stop! She didn't say anything, she..."  
  
"You forced her to have sex with you!"  
  
"That's not true..."  
  
Manzini interrupted their heated conversation with an alarmed tone in his voice.  
  
"Detective, stop that! This is an interrogation, an interview, you have no right to question my client like this, you have no right to force him to tell you anything. You have no right to twist the results of this testimony as you wish to have it so it fits to your investigation, you have no right to blame him. And if you won't stop trying to force him to say something that didn't even happen or isn't true, we will stop this whole thing immediately!"  
  
The detective's face went red while Manzini was talking, he was absolutely furious, pretty much raging and he had extreme difficulties to keep himself under control as he answered to Manzini's statement.  
  
"As you wish, Mr. Manzini, let us go on then..."  
  
Manzini looked at Bosco and gave him an encouraging and friendly look.  
  
"So, the situation got more passionate and heated and we were feeling more and more attracted to each other and finally..."  
  
"You were having sex."  
  
"Yeah, we did."  
  
"How did Mrs. Mandell react, how did she behave?"  
  
Bosco looked at his lawyer as he hesitated with his answer. This was the most difficult part of the whole testimony, the only thing he was still hardly thinking about, the only thing he wasn't sure about.  
  
"She was moaning and she was gripping hardly, but I don't think she did struggle..."  
  
"You think? So, you aren't sure?"  
  
Bosco could feel Manzini's gaze on him – this was the critical point, the thing he had wanted to avoid, the only question he had wanted Bosco to answer quickly and decidedly, but he had failed to do it and now the situation would become delicate, because the detective wouldn't stop asking, would use his weakness until he would receive an answer he could use to blame him for raping the girl.  
  
"I'm not completely sure – yeah."  
  
There was no use in lying, it would just involve him more deeply, than he already was.  
  
"So if you can't be sure she wanted it, why didn't you stop?"  
  
"That's not what I wanted to say with that. I mean – I'm not sure now. I was sure when I was with her – I believe she really liked it."  
  
"Yeah. Obviously."  
  
The detective murmured and Manzini was immediately there to rebuke him.  
  
"That was absolutely unnecessary, Detective Sheldon!"  
  
"It's okay, Mr. Manzini. So what happened next? Did you stay, did you leave, did you ask her if she was okay?"  
  
"I...I – well – went to the bathroom and when I came back she was already asleep. I didn't wanna wake her up, so I got dressed, left her place and went home... That's it."  
  
"Okay, there are a few more questions I have..."  
  
Bosco looked at Manzini in desperation. This really had been hard, harder than he had believed.  
  
"Could we have a little break please?"  
  
Before the detective got a chance to say no, Manzini already had answered.  
  
"Of course we can. I don't think the detective has a problem with that?"  
  
Sheldon's face told them that he had a big problem with that, but he didn't say anything.  
  
"No, of course not. There's a room at the end of the floor which is empty, if you need some time for yourself."  
  
Almost fleeing, Bosco left the room – he really needed this few minutes of spare time. The detective and Manzini left the room together and one of the vice-squad officers addressed Sheldon as they closed the door of the interrogation room behind them.  
  
"Sir, Mrs. Mandell is here now."  
  
Sheldon saw the lawyer's frowning to the officer's words and answered the question before he even got a chance to say it out loud.  
  
"I know myself that it's not a good idea and an amount of bad timing, but there was no other way. She was very tired yesterday evening and the doctors wanted to see her today. So there was no chance to get her signature for the testimony before. I'll go and meet her – have your client back in the room in 15 minutes..." 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:  
  
„I found her!"  
  
Faith gave Sully a big smile when he came over to address her. She'd been here since yesterday afternoon, riding a desk all day and – as she said – scanning through the files to find a connection to Judith Mandell. She looked exhausted and overtired – probably she stayed here all night, frantically scanning the amounts of paper in front of her. But she found something or she hoped so, he wasn't sure of that.  
  
She turned the file around and pointed at the entry she meant to show him what she'd found.  
  
"There it is. Judith Sanders, daughter of Melinda Sanders!"  
  
She was so exited about actually finding something. It had been a long, long night of reading, searching, hoping and being disappointed over and over again. She'd hoped and prayed to find something, but by the time dawn approached this morning she was almost willing to give in, to give up, to accept that there was no hint and she was wrong. She'd felt so hollow when the thought came to her and so heartbreakingly sad. She almost didn't find what she was searching for, due to her emotional state – she had difficulties in concentrating.  
  
But then the name suddenly jumped from that file and she knew it was her. She felt so exited and relieved, she didn't even have words for it. She'd been frantic, eager, almost hysterical when she found out and now her suspicion was approved by some more background information.  
  
Sully wasn't sure what she was up to. Yeah, she found someone with the victim's name, but what made her believe it was her? He just hoped she hadn't ran into something completely outta hand. It would hurt just more if she was disappointed and needed to realize. So he tried to convince her.  
  
"But the victim's name isn't Sanders, Faith, her name's Mandell!"  
  
"Yeah, I know, I know. But look at this: her mother's birth name – Mandell! She took her mother's name. I was right!"  
  
"You got an address or a picture?"  
  
"By now? It was in the midst of the night, when I found out about it and she's not previously convicted. No, I don't have a picture. I'll call her former high school today. She doesn't have a current address, looks like she just came back from some foreign country or something. But neither does the girl have a current address! The one she gave us, is of a friend's house."  
  
"So even if you're right, what's her motive?"  
  
Faith flipped through the file to show him something else.  
  
"Her mother died, killed herself, jumped off a building. We were there, talking to her, trying to convince her not to do it, but it didn't work. I'm not sure, but I think her daughter was here, wanted to talk to us, wanted to know if she had any last words, if she'd given us a message for her. I probably tried to calm her down, but – you know Bosco – perhaps she felt attacked by his reaction, maybe she was hurt and with the pain she already had about losing her mother, maybe she was angry."  
  
"There's only one thing in your line of evidence that doesn't make any sense – why should she wait that long? It's more then six years ago! What took her six years to get back on him, to seek revenge?"  
  
"I don't know, Sully. She was just a teenager than. Maybe she wasn't sure of doing it, maybe she tried to forget in first place. Or she needed the time to develop a plan. A plan that would work and it would only work if we wouldn't remember her, otherwise there would've been a connection."  
  
"Six years, Faith?"  
  
She swallowed hard and gave him a sad look.  
  
"If you hate enough – six years aren't that much of a time. It's the final result that counts!" 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:  
  
He entered the dimly lit room, trying to get his eyes used to the semi darkness and to make out the shapes of the room. It took him some moments, but finally he realized that he wasn't alone. Someone was standing in the room with him, arms crossed, leaning against the wall. It was a woman and from what he saw, she was smiling. All of a sudden he realized. Judy, it was her! He quickly took a step backwards, but she didn't even seem to care. She didn't seem afraid, not at all. She just kept smiling.  
  
"You don't remember me, do you?"  
  
His mind was racing. What did she mean? What did she want? He didn't have a clue.  
  
"I..."  
  
"You don't!"  
  
The smile on her face got bigger and a soft giggle emerged from her lips. Then, all of a sudden, it vanished, when she directly looked at him.  
  
"But I do. I remember!"  
  
"I...I'm sorry."  
  
"You should be. She was such a wonderful, caring person. She didn't deserve to die!"  
  
"She? Die?"  
  
He had no idea what she was talking about. He'd thought this was all about the violation.  
  
"You still don't remember?"  
  
He shook his head, unable to say a thing.  
  
"Well, it's some time ago and you probably don't want to remember, but you will. She was so beautiful, so loving and you didn't save her!"  
  
"Who are you talking about?"  
  
"My mommy. She died, seven years ago, killed herself. You were supposed to keep her from doing it, to protect her, but you didn't. You let her die! You destroyed my life!"  
  
All of a sudden she gave him an evil smile.  
  
"So, I'm gonna destroy yours!"  
  
He couldn't believe what she just told him, what she just revealed. He couldn't feel, he couldn't think – it was simply impossible. He managed to stutter some words.  
  
"It... was... all a lie?"  
  
She laughed out hysterically.  
  
"Of course it was! And even you almost fell for it, although you knew the truth. You were there!"  
  
"Why the hell...? So, this was all about revenge?"  
  
"It was about justice! I lost my mom that day and she'll never come back. You've no idea what I've gone through! Absolutely no idea! I loved her more than words can say. I lost my happiness, lost my life that day – all you lose is your reputation! That's not as much justice as I wished to get and your goddamn partner even takes that away from me! She was smart enough, she remembered, she found out about me! But I won't let you get away like this!"  
  
He tried to stay calm and give his voice a restrained tone, but it wasn't as easy as he thought it to be. It was slightly trembling.  
  
"So, what do you want to do?"  
  
"I always wanted you to feel the same amount of pain that I had to endure. Wanted you to experience how it feels if you're all alone, if there's no one you can trust in anymore, if there's no one there for you, who believes in you – never again. But it didn't work! Your partner found out and everybody will know that I lied and you didn't do anything of what I claimed on you."  
  
She paused for a second as if she had to think about the next move once again.  
  
"So I decided to do something different. I want you to feel how I felt. To feel how it feels when you lose a loved one. So I tried to find out and then I realized something. Something that really makes me sad, sad for you. Cause the only person you love..."  
  
She took another pause and he frantically prayed for her not to say his mother's or even worse Faith's name. He couldn't endure that, he knew he couldn't, he couldn't live on knowing he was responsible for her death. He wanted the girl to stop, wanted her to realize she was wrong, wanted her not to do what she was up to, but he just couldn't get his mouth working. Her words had left him speechless.  
  
"...is yourself!"  
  
Judy drew out a gun...  
  
TBC 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:  
  
About 20 minutes later, they arrived at vice-squad and Faith almost jumped out of the car, holding the file in her arms, like it was the most precious thing in the world. But to her and right at that moment - it probably was. She went inside, not even waiting for Sully, who had joined her and directly headed to the counter.  
  
"I'm in search of Detective Sheldon?"  
  
"That's room twelve, across the floor, third on the left. But I dunno if he's there. Might be in the midst of an interview right now."  
  
"I'll go and see. Thank you."  
  
She turned around and crossed the floor. She could hear the detective talking inside the room, almost yelling. He seemed to be pretty furious about something. Without thinking and without knocking, she entered the room, now understanding what the detective was yelling about.  
  
"I mean – it's just ridiculous! How stupid does he think I am? He thinks he can do this just because he's a cop? He really believes I'm buying that shit? He's lying, I know that, but..."  
  
He stopped screaming and turned around as the other man, he shared the room with, pointed to the door and gave him a warning look.  
  
"What...? Officer Yokas!"  
  
"Detective."  
  
He seemed distressed for a moment, not knowing what to say to her. He hadn't wanted her to hear that – well – now it was too late. But she didn't seem to react to it that much. She crossed the room and lay the file she'd with her on the desk.  
  
"There's something I need to show you."  
  
She opened the file and pointed to Judy's name and filled him in to what she'd found out. He couldn't believe it. He'd been absolutely sure of the young woman speaking the truth, she'd seemed so hurt, so lost, so empty to him. He realized that it hadn't been his instincts betraying him, she hadn't just seemed like it, she was hurt and hollow – just not due to the reason he thought. He had been blinded, had been too eager to blame someone and had made a mistake. Now there was proof he'd been wrong with it.  
  
"That's unbelievable. Why would someone do things like that? Blame someone like this? She must be completely insane! And she almost got away with it. I'm sorry officer, I really am!"  
  
No one of them even realized Judy, standing close to the door and listening to them, hearing all of the revelations, seeing her well balanced plan shatter to the ground. It went so well, she'd been so close and now it was over. She thought she'd been cautious enough, waited long enough – but obviously she'd been wrong. She was furious and she was on the edge of panic. She needed to find another way of seeking revenge and she needed to find it quickly. She wouldn't let him get away with this, she would get her revenge, she needed it – desperately. And she didn't care at what cost – not any more.  
  
"You shouldn't be telling me!"  
  
"Yeah you're right. I'll go and tell him!"  
  
So he's still here?"  
  
"Yeah, we just finished the testimony and I still need him to sign it. We were taking a brake, he said he needed some time for himself. I think he's somewhere down the floor. Last room on the left is empty at the moment, think he went there to take his time. I'll go get him and then I'll talk to Judith."  
  
"Yeah, if you still manage to find her. She's probably long gone!"  
  
The detective gtave her a puzzled look.  
  
"Gone? No, she's here too."  
  
"She's here? Where?"  
  
"I'm not absolutely sure. She was with the state's attorney. I'll go and ask her, she'll..."  
  
The detective never got to finish his sentence. Right at that moment a bone chilling sound ran through the department, a sound that wasn't supposed to be heard in here, the sound of gun fire. Somebody had shot and it didn't even take a second before all of the three who'd just found out about Judy realized what that meant... 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:  
  
She ran – out of the room, down the hall and to the window at it's end. She fled. She knew the fire ladder was directly besides this window – her way out, her escape, her only chance – her freedom.  
  
She knew, she needed to be there before any of the cops would get to that room and would see what happened, what she had done. She knew that they found out about her, she knew they were coming and she also knew they would never let her get away. She just needed to be quicker than them.  
  
She made it to the window, opened it and held her head outside to look for the fire ladder. There it was, not even a feet away from her. She put her head back inside, sat herself halfway on the window sill – one foot inside, one outside – and reached for it. She could feel the metal under her feet.  
  
Right at that moment she could hear it – somebody was there and he shouted to her.  
  
"Freeze!"  
  
She cursed silently. She was almost outside, almost gone, almost free. It wasn't supposed to go down like this – she was supposed to get away. She looked up and saw a young female detective in civils having a gun trained at her.  
  
"Don't you move an inch!"  
  
She couldn't – it was her chance, her escape, she needed to try, needed to risk it. She didn't want to die, didn't want to be shot, but since her Ma was gone – she never really cared about life anymore. She wasn't afraid of dying and she was desperate to get outta here. She'd rather die than be taken into custody.  
  
She had her revenge, had righten the wrongs in her life – she could feel again and she wasn't willing to let it end here today. Her new life was just about to begin and everything was so well planed for the future.  
  
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and then she swung around outside. She could hear the gunfire, the noise of the explosion millimeters from her body, could even hear the bullet fly by, missing her by inches, but missing her. She knew she had no time to be grateful for that, right now. The woman would try again, she would get to the window and fire again, trying to stop her.  
  
She climbed down the ladder as fast as she could not even looking back once. When her feet hit the ground she could hear a second gunshot, again not even a feet away from her. She needed to get outta that alley. They probably had half of the cops of the squad outside the building searching for her.  
  
She had a car with all her things in it, parked behind the building. It stood there since five that morning, since she knew she would see him today. That was when her attorney called in and had told her to be there at vice-squad today, when officer Boscorelli would give his evidence. She hadn't been sure of what she would do, what she would do when seeing him – but she'd wanted to be prepared and therefor she'd taken the gun with her and had a plan to flee from this place. Her car was just standing there, waiting for her to come. The only thing she needed to do was go for it, get inside and drive away – outta the district, outta the city, outta the state – to a new life.  
  
She wasn't even sure where she wanted to go – she just knew she wouldn't stay – she wouldn't let herself get taken into custody, wouldn't let them take her freedom from her.  
  
Cause – she had done nothing wrong. She'd freed herself from past events, she'd seeked revenge – had served justice and there was nothing wrong about that.  
  
She pressed herself against the wall of the building, so the detective at the window wouldn't get another chance to aim at her and started to run down the alley to her car. She turned around the corner and could see it standing there, awaiting her. While running she got out her keys. She stopped in front of the car opened the door and got inside. But she never got to get away.  
  
"Freeze! Now! Put your hands where I can see them!"  
  
Somebody shouted at her. She was on the edge of crying, she'd been so close, so close to freedom, so close to a new life. But now it was over before it even started – it was gone – she knew that.  
  
The cop yelled for her again and she could feel the weight of the gun still in her pocket. She slowly took it out. The cop didn't see it, but yelled another time.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom. Please forgive me."  
  
Judith said quietly. Then she put the gun to her head, before the officer outside could even react, and shot...  
  
TBC 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:  
  
Faith didn't even take a moment to think any further – she didn't think of the girl still being down there somewhere, still having a gun. She didn't think of her being dangerous and of the fact, that by running off head over heels she put herself into danger. She wasn't even able to think that far – she just knew she needed to get to that room where the gunshots were fired – needed to get to Bosco.  
  
"Yokas!"  
  
The detective yelled after her, getting out his gun and heading after her. Before leaving the room he took a look at his partner and ordered him to call an ambulance. He ran after her and yelled once again for her to stop. Fortunately he got a hold on her before she could enter the hall where the shots had been fired. They could hear a second shot right at that moment and Faith winced when she heard it. the detective gave her a furious look.  
  
"Whadda you think you do? You crazy? She's armed - you wanna kill yourself? She could've shot you right away when you would've ran down there. You think you can help your partner with that?"  
  
Another shot rang through the department and afterwards they could hear someone someone cursing.  
  
"Goddamn it!"  
  
The detective seemed to calm down a bit and stepped around the corner with his gun lowered. He knew that voice.  
  
"Detective Meyers?"  
  
The woman turned around and put her gun down, when she realized it was one of her colleagues talking to her.  
  
"I lost her."  
  
Faith had stepped behind Sheldon and heard the woman's statement. The girl was gone – she fled. That was all she needed to know for the moment. She ran again, to the last room at the left where the detective believed Bosco went, to have a few moment on his own. She just wished for everything to be okay – for him to be alright. But she knew he wasn't, she knew it before even entering the room.  
  
When she did she couldn't see him at first. But what made her even more concerned was the fact that she couldn't hear him – couldn't hear him moan, couldn't hear him sigh, couldn't even hear him breathe. The thought striked her – he wasn't breathing! Probably since the bullet had hit him – that would be almost five minutes by now. She needed to find him now and get him into a hospital as soon as possible.  
  
Then she saw him, sunken to the ground, leaned against the wall he must've fallen against, when the bullet striked him. There were dark stains on the wall above him – blood, his blood. Faith swallowed hard, went to him quickly and kneeled down beside him. She reached for his neck, feeling for a pulse.  
  
She almost didn't feel anything – it was weak and unsteady and she knew that could mean no good. The dimly lit room made it hard for her to make out his figure and even harder to find the wound. As her finger slipped down his body, she could feel the warm liquor on her fingers – blood. She looked down on her fingers on his body and she found the wound. The girl had shot him to the chest.  
  
She needed some seconds to get rid of the feeling of impossibility, she needed to tell herself he'd been off-duty and cause of that hadn't been wearing the west he normally would. That made it absolutely possible.  
  
She tried to announce him, in hope he would still be awake, still be conscious, still be alive. Could answer her, look at her or just grip her hand, so she would know he was still with her. But deep down inside she knew it was hopeless – he definitely wasn't breathing, he wouldn't be conscious. That he was still alive, his heart still beating after five minutes without air, was a wonder.  
  
Bosco?"  
  
She tried none the less in a calm and very soft, soothing voice, but as she had already feared and expected – she got no response. The detective entered the room behind her.  
  
"I got my partner call in, the medics are on their way. How..."  
  
"Sshhh!"  
  
She interrupted him, forcing him to be quiet so she could check her partner's respiration. She just hoped and prayed for her suspicion not to be approved, although he hadn't answered her and she was almost sure he wasn't breathing, but it was. There still had been a glipse of hope deep inside her heart, that had just died down. She couldn't hear anything.  
  
"He doesn't breathe."  
  
She stated. The detective got to her quickly and kneeled down beside her, as if he needed to check her statement first before he could believe her.  
  
"The medics..."  
  
"We have no time to wait for the medics! We need to lay him down and give him air now! Help me."  
  
She gave the detective a demanding, decisive and also desperate look and took her partner by his shoulders to get him out of the half sitting position he was in and lay him down on the floor to do first aid and hopefully help him by that.  
  
"Hold his head! Be careful!"  
  
She ordered to the detective and he did his best in trying to help her. They managed to lay him down and she started to give him air as she realized some warm liqor on her lips. She knew what it was immediately, she just didn't want it to be true. It was blood – Bosco's blood which he was chocking to death on. Blood he had in his lungs, his windpipe and his mouth. Blood that stopped him from breathing...  
  
"You need to put pressure on the chest wound. He's losing too much blood."  
  
She managed to tell Detective Sheldon between to gasps of air she was giving to her fallen partner. She could see, how Sheldon took of his light jacket, clenched it together and pressed it to the wound on her partner's chest. She felt her heart shrink in her chest as the detective did so and Bosco didn't even make a sound, not even a cry of agony which she had expected. He was deeply unconcious, almost gone... She was losing him. But she wasn't willing to let this happen.  
  
"Don't you die on me! You gonna make it, you're strong. You have to fight!"  
  
She whispered to her partner while still trying to make him breathe in an irrational hope of him hearing her words. But she wasn't even sure she would talk to him ever again.  
  
She was about to check his pulse once again, when the medics rushed into the place and ordered her to stand aside and give them space to work on her partner. The detective helped her to get up and she could hear him tell the medics about Bosco's condition – his slow heartbeat and his lack of respiration. All of a sudden, she was unable to talk, unable to even move. She didn't have the time to realize how serious his injury was and which grave consequences probably could occur from it. She hadn't realized she might lose him. She just had reacted to the situation by instinct, without thinking that much – just wishing and trying to help him in any way possible. But now that the medics had arrived and the situation had slipped out of her hands – the full consequences of his wound striked her. She could feel the drying blood on her hands, face and shirt getting sticky, she could feel the tears rise in her. She could feel the overwhelming, desperate fear inside of her.  
  
"Let's go, you can't help him any more. Let the medics do their job."  
  
She could hear the detective say to her softly, gripping her by the shoulders and leading her out of the room. She didn't want to go, didn't want to leave her partner alone. But she was still unable to do anything, so she didn't struggle against the detective's grip who was leading her further and further away from her fallen partner. He led her to the foyer of the vice-squad departement, where Sully was still waiting for her. She didn't even realize, but his eyes widened in terror as he saw her and rushed over to her, his voice in deep concern as he addressed her.  
  
"Good lord – Faith. You're hurt?"  
  
She looked down on her hands in desbelief as Sully pointed to them, they were moroon from dried blood.  
  
"I'm okay, that's not mine."  
  
She finally managed to choke out. Sully didn't completely understand what she meant, what she wanted to tell him. But he wouldn't let her get away like this – without explaining.  
  
"I heard shots. What happened down there?"  
  
Faith was still looking at her hands, she couldn't tell him. She just couldn't talk about, couldn't tell him what she just had sawn, just had experienced. She hadn't even clearly realized it herself, wasn't sure about the graveness of consequences – so how was she supposed to tell him? She whispered once again.  
  
"It's not mine."  
  
Then all of a sudden and with no warning she started to cry and shake violently. She didn't say a word – was unable to – just stood there and cried.  
  
Sully couldn't understand what caused her reaction, but he had a slight horrifying idea what it was, what happened, who was shot. He reacted instinctively, stepping towards her, taking her in his arms and gently rubbing her back. He tried to calm her as good as he could.  
  
"Oh Faith, I'm so sorry!"... 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:  
  
Back down the floor in the room where Judith Mandell had finally taken her last step of revenge, the medics were still fighting for Bosco to stay alive. One of them had taken over the seargants position in pressing something on the severly bleeding gunshot wound, to stop the bloodloss, while the other was checking pulse and respiration. To his eyes it didn't look so good. The wounded man was heavily losing blood – to an amount that clearly endangered his life, and his vitals seemed to prove that. His pulse had gotten weaker and weaker since they arrived here, although they were desperately trying to stop the bleeding and were giving him air. But it wouldn't help.  
  
"Pulse at 120 . BP is 90 over 60 and rapidly falling, still no respiration. Let's get another IV-line going and get me a tube. He doesn't get enough air." The other medic nodded and reached a tube to his co-worker, while he took one of the needles and a catheter which he stuck into a vein in his patient's left arm and hang on a bag of saline to adjust the blood loss. His partner seemed to have more difficulties. He couldn't get the tube inside. "I don't see anything, there is blood everywhere..." He stated in a slightly desperate voice. His co-worker stepped closer to him and tried to help him getting the tube to it's place, but it wouldn't work. He checked the vitals once again. "Pulse is at , we're losing him. You need to get the damn tube inside, he needs air!" The medic hesitated for another moment and then he had made his decision. "Get me a scalpel. I'm gonna make a tracheotomy. We have no other option left."  
  
He received the knife and cut a small opening to his patient's throat and finally managed to put in the tube and give him air. Looking at the heart monitor, they could see his pulse and BP stabilize, although both were still pretty weak. They hadn't achieved a betterment by now, he was still in critical condition. The blood loss was life threatening – he needed the help of a surgeon as quickly as possible. "He's stable, let's get him out of here! We don't have much time..." They loaded their patient on the stretcher and left the room to get to the ambulance.  
  
Faith – still being hold by Sully and still sobbing – forcefully tried to escape from his co-worker's grip when she saw the medic's rushing to the front doors of vice- squad with Bosco on a stretcher. She shivered as she caught his sight. He was so quiet, so pale – so unlike he would normally be. She could hardly bear his unmoving, injured, vulnerable form lying on that stretcher.  
  
She managed to escape out of Sully's arms and rushed after the medics to get at least some information about her partner's condition. She knew they probably didn't have much time and the longer she would hold them back here in explaining her about his physical state, the more his life would be in danger. But she needed to know, she needed certainty. She stepped behind the medic and took a deep breath before she addressed him.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
The medic turned around and gave her a surprised look. When he saw her blood-soaked shirt and hands he seemed to remember her as the woman he had wanted to step aside as he arrived. The woman that had already tried to save this man's life when they had still been on their way.  
  
"Not so good – he's severly injured and we need to get him to a hospital quickly. He needs surgery..."  
  
"May I join you?"  
  
The medic gave her a dismayed gaze and she hurried to go on explaining about her motivation.  
  
"We're both working for NYPD – he's my partner."  
  
The medic's face expression got softer and more relaxed, this obviously seemed reason enough to allow her to join them.  
  
"Alright, get inside."  
  
The medic entered the ambulance behind her, closing the back doors and already yelling to his co-worker to hurry.  
  
Faith didn't dare to get any closer to her partner. She was just sitting there beside one of the two medics, who was constantly checking his vitals. She was afraid to hurt him, afraid to make the situation even worse. But whatever still possibly would happen until they arrived at the hospital – she needed to be by his side. She felt he needed someone who would take care of him and she was the next best person to do this. She took a concerned look at the heart monitor and just couldn't believe how slowly the beeping occurred. This definitely wasn't normal and it wasn't healthy. Without any medical background she knew her partner was in a bad shape and needed the professional help they would give him in hospital as soon as possible. She took a closer look at him, although she almost feared to do so, and caught sight of the tube entering his windpipe at the cut on his throat.  
  
"What..."  
  
She managed to choke and the paramedic followed her gaze.  
  
"It's helping him breathe."  
  
He explained and turned to Bosco again. When she saw the concern on his face, she felt fear well up inside of her.  
  
"How long?"  
  
She could hear him ask his partner who was driving.  
  
"Two more minutes, I guess."  
  
"Hurry!"  
  
Faith knew this wasn't a good sign, the medic was concerned about Bosco's condition and that couldn't be a good sign. She just hoped and prayed for him to be okay, to make it – to stay alive until they arrived at the hospital. She didn't even dare to ask it and actually she didn't even want an answer, but she asked none the less.  
  
"Will he make it?" The medic took a look at her, looked back to her partner and then gave her a look full of empathy.  
  
"Honestly – I don't know. The wound is pretty severe, he's lost a lot of blood and his brain has been without oxygen for several minutes. He may have severe current damages due to the long lack of air. But we can't tell that by now – we have to wait until he wakes up..."  
  
Faith wasn't able to react to that new information – she just heard it and couldn't believe it. Severe current brain damage? It couldn't be happening, it just couldn't! How did they end up in this situation? What had made the girl act like this? Why had she been so angry, so desperate? Why did she do this to her partner? Why hadn't she found out about Judy earlier? A million questions were swirling through her mind. There had been so many chances that it would have ended in a different way, but now she was sitting here, beside her wounded partner and there was no way to change anything any more. It was too late. They arrived at the hospital and the E.R medical staff was around them almost immediately. Somebody told her to step back and wait for news. They would send a doctor as soon as they would know about his condition and his chances of survival. And with the words of the nurse, they entered one of the trauma rooms and her partner was out of her sight... 


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:  
  
„How is he?"  
  
Rose asked with a trembling voice. Faith gave her a look full of empathy and shrugged slightly.  
  
"I don't know. I haven't spoken to a doctor, yet... I'm so sorry."  
  
Rose looked at her directly all of a sudden.  
  
"What for? It wasn't your fault."  
  
Silence fell between them as Faith tried to find the right words.  
  
"If only I had been quicker, if only I would've found out earlier... I could've..."  
  
Rose interrupted her in a soft voice.  
  
"Stop blaming yourself. You couldn't have done anything for protection. The girl wanted revenge, she would have done it either way, equal if you would've found out sooner or later."  
  
There was no use in fighting with her and there was no use in taking the blame, too. It definitely wouldn't help. She just hoped and prayed for him to be okay. She had no chance to influence the events any more. It was all up to the doctors – and to Bosco. His mom sat down beside Faith and absent mindedly took a cigarette out of her purse. She caught the sad smile Faith gave her, but didn't understand. Faith pointed to the cigarette in her hand.  
  
"It's a hospital."  
  
Rose followed her look and realized what she was doing. She shortly laughed hysterically and put it away quickly.  
  
"I'm just a little nervous."  
  
She said excusingly and Faith gave her another – more encouraging – smile.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
There was nothing more to talk about . There was no use in it – talking about it wouldn't better the situation and it wouldn't change his current state. So they just sat there quiet, hanging on to their own thoughts – hoping, wishing and praying for Bosco to be allright and for the doctor to come and tell them so. But Rose seemed to need some information, needed to know what happened down there at vice – squad. Unlike Faith she hadn't been there, she hadn't seen him, she didn't know what Bosco had looked like, how bad the wound had been. She didn't know anything about her son's state and Faith had been the last to see him. So she needed to know what she had experienced – she needed to know about her son, desperately.  
  
"Is he going to make it?"  
  
She whispered almost soundlessly. Faith didn't look at her, she just couldn't. "I don't know."  
  
"But you were there, you've seen him. Was he hurt badly?"  
  
She was thinking about lying to her for a moment, just to calm her. She didn't want her to worry too much. But she knew it wasn't much of a use, the doctor would finally tell her – perhaps it was better she'd be prepared.  
  
"It was pretty bad..."  
  
She answered her desperate question almost soundlessly, but couldn't go on. She didn't know how to tell her about it. mostly because she didn't wanna remember the scene she had gone through earlier. She whished for nothing more but to put it behind her, to forget it, but Rose wouldn't let her.  
  
"Please tell me, I need to know!"  
  
Faith nodded slightly, giving in to her. She had a right to know it and although she wasn't willing to tell her at all, she tried none the less.  
  
"He..."  
  
She didn't get any further when Rose almost jumped out of the chair she was sitting in, as a doctor entered the room.  
  
"Mrs. Boscorelli?"  
  
"Yeah, that's me. You're my son's doctor?"  
  
"Yes I am..."  
  
He stopped and turned to Faith, giving her a questioning look.  
  
"And you are?"  
  
"Officer Faith Yokas, I'm his partner."  
  
"Sorry, but I can only allow family members..."  
  
Rose immediately interrupted the doctor.  
  
"No, that's okay. I want her to stay."  
  
"As you wish."  
  
Rose wasn't willing to wait any longer and keep herself entangled in formalities, she wanted to know – now!  
  
"So, how is he, doctor?"  
  
"He was in a pretty bad shape when he arrived. His right lung had collapsed, he wasn't breathing and he had lost a lot of blood. We got him up for surgery and were able to remove the bullet and to stabilize the bloodloss. Due to the enormous impact of both – the wound and the surgery – he still isn't breathing. Therefor we sent him to ICU, but I'm positive that breathing will return to normal in a few days at the latest. It will take some time, but he'll fully recover."  
  
"Thank god."  
  
Rose whispered, sitting down again. She seemed more reliefed, than words could ever say, the expression on her face, the sudden relax – told so. Faith didn't feel any different.  
  
From what she had seen, when she first found him, she hadn't had much hope he'd survive after all, she didn't even think about recovery. All of the blood, his still, lifeless body and the lack of respiration had made her believe he couldn't and wouldn't be safed. Obviously – and fortunately she had been wrong.  
  
"Can we see him?"  
  
The doctor gazed at his watch and looked back at the two of them with a sad look.  
  
"Not today. He's still sedated and he won't wake up before tommorrow morning. You can't do anything for him tonight and I can't allow you to stay at ICU for the night – hospital policy, you know. It's for the best when you go home and take a rest. I will inform you immediately if anything changes or if he will wake up, but you can't do anything for him right here and right now."  
  
Neither Faith nor Rose were rather comfortable with the doctor's proposal, but there wasn't much they could do about it. Struggling against the doctor's decision wouldn't help it, he would send them out of here either way. Faith nodded slightly and took Rose by her arm. She almost expected the to struggle against the grip, but she didn't. She didn't seem to really be here mentally any more, the relief had taken over her and she wasn't able to cope with anything else, but with the feeling of her son would recover and get well again.  
  
"I'll take you home."  
  
Faith whispered to her without getting a response and lead her out ouf the room.  
  
"We will be back tomorrow morning."... 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:  
  
Light – bright, shining and warm. That was all he was able to see, when he slightly opened his eyes. It was so bright, it almost hurt. But he didn't dare to close them again. He didn't wanna fall back into the all-covering darkness he had just escaped from. He needed to stay awake, needed to keep himself busied – needed to find a way to escape the fears and nightmares of darkness.  
  
Slowly, very slowly his eyes got used to the light and he was able to make out shapes. There was somebody in front of him or something, he couldn't clearly make that out. He just knew he wasn't alone. He looked and looked – as close as he could – to make out some more details. Whatever it was, sitting in front of him – it had blonde hair. Bright light and a figure with blonde hair? Weren't angels supposed to be blonde and have a light shining around them? He almost smiled by his silly thought – an angel. Something terrible must've happened with his brain if he really believed he was seeing an angel. All of a sudden the past events came back to his mind. The vice-squad department, the testimony, the dimly lit room, the girl, the gun... He had been shot... Shot! And now he was lying down somewhere, seeing bright lights... Sudden panic rushed over him. Was she really an angel? Was he in heaven? Was he dead?  
  
Faith – who had arrived about an hour ago and had finally managed to talk Rose into leaving – was sitting by her partner's bedside, thinking about all the events that would come up to her and also him, when he would finally wake up. The doctor's were pretty sure he would. They had transferred him from ICU and had given him a stational single room and that, even without talking to a doctor, was a good sign. But she had and they had told her, that – at last due to all the tests they had done – his condition had bettered. They still weren't sure he would fully recover, but the testing hadn't given any hint to a permanent brain damage caused by the lack of oxygen. She knew it was no use being concerned about it, they could just wait for him to wake up and then they would know.  
  
Right now, she was even more concerned about Rose. She really had given the medical staff a hard time for the past few days. She had barely slept or eaten anything and had staid by her son's side all the time. She had looked awful when Faith had arrived here this morning and the nurse almost desperately begged her to find a way to make her leave. The medical staff hadn't achieved that goal up to the moment and they were deeply afraid Rose would just break down sooner or later. They had tried everything from telling her she couldn't do anything for him and that she was endangering her own health, to actually trying to scare her out or force her to, but it hadn't worked. Faith had assured her everything would be alright, that she needed a rest and that if she would break down she wouldn't help Bosco at all. It had taken her almost an hour and – finally – after assuring her for the fifteenth time she would call as soon as there was the slightest change in her son's condition, she had left the hospital to go home and get some sleep.  
  
She had a look at her partner's still form lying on the hospital bed: he was still pale, but the doctors had taken out the tube that was helping him breathe, for respiration had returned back normal that morning. The wound on his throat was covered by a bandage and he had a tube entering his nose and still giving him air, for the doctors thought the oxygen level in his blood still to low. He had a needle and a catheter stuck to the back of his right hand running to an IV- bag containing saline. She couldn't see the gunshot wound, for it was covered beneath the blanket, but she knew it was pretty nasty - she had seen one of the nurses change the bandages. But believing the doctors' words – he was nicely recovering.  
  
She just thought about leaving the room shortly to get herself a coffee and take a little walk, when the beeping of the heart monitor suddenly got louder and faster. Something was happening, something was wrong! She felt how helplessness rushed over her as she tried to figure out what to do next. She had a look at the monitor, at her partner and finally she managed to turn around and run to the floor. She didn't even have to call for help, as the nurse who had wanted her to talk Rose into leaving earlier, already was rushing down the floor.  
  
"Something's wrong:"  
  
"I know, I know. I already called for a doctor."  
  
The nurse rushed into the room and Faith entered behind her staying at the doorframe not daring to go in again. The nurse stepped to the bed, had another look at the heart monitor and then – and Faith couldn't clearly understand why – she smiled.  
  
"It's alright – he's not in danger. He's waking up. He's just panicked a little, but things like this can happen when a patient wakes from a long phase of unconsciousness. He's alright. Maybe you should try to calm him."  
  
All of a sudden there was movement in front of him. The angel as he believed or whatever it was instead first moved a little closer and then she was gone. If he would've managed to do it, he would've laughed. Heaven! They had realized there mistake in sending him here and now they were sending him else where. As if he truly had believed he would end up in heaven! Now he could hear something – a constant, repeating tone. A beeping. What was this? A countdown? The elevator leveling him down to hell? The beeping got faster the more he thought about it. He was afraid, afraid of what would happen next, afraid of where he would end up finally. He knew it was too late now, he couldn't do anything against it any more, but he just desperately wished for this to take another turn, to have a good ending. And then – very calm and like it was coming from far away – he heard a voice. Somebody was talking to him, but he couldn't understand it. He tried to listen closer, tried to focus and then he heard somebody announce his name.  
  
"Bosco?"  
  
He hesitated. He knew this voice. It was familiar, so goddamn familiar. . . Faith. It was Faith's voice he was hearing. Why was he hearing her voice? Was it some kind of memory to make it easier for him? Was she dead? That thought was unbearable... Maybe,..., maybe he wasn't,..., maybe this wasn't the end, maybe he had survived, maybe he was still alive... The voice got louder and he could hear the words more clearly now.  
  
"Can you hear me? Come on, open your eyes. Talk to me."  
  
His throat was dry and he had difficulties finding his voice, but he had to. He wanted to answer her, wanted to tell her, he knew she was there and wanted to have prove he actually wasn't dead. He tried to speak, but he didn't manage anything more than to choke and a slight cough. But Faith voice was still there.  
  
"Easy, slow and easy. Don't push too hard – it's okay."  
  
He swallowed hard and tried once again and this time he managed to whisper her name.  
  
"Faith."  
  
"I'm here, Bosco. I'm here. Don't worry, everything's alright."  
  
He was relaxing now. He knew he couldn't be dead or if he was he definitely was in heaven – hell wouldn't give his new citizens such a soothing and warm welcome. But what had happened instead? And where was he?  
  
"Where..."  
  
"You're in hospital, you were shot. But you will get well soon."  
  
He tried to understand what she wanted to tell him. Put together the pieces – he couldn't remember anything, didn't know how this could happen. Had no idea why he was here.  
  
"Why...?"  
  
Faith hesitated for a few moments and he tried to widen his eyes, so he could see her face more clearly, could see the expression on it, to find out what made her hesitate. He could see her, although it looked like she was standing in dense fog. She looked sad.  
  
"Judy,..., she shot you."  
  
Judy? Judy. Judy! Suddenly the unfamiliar name, had received a face. And with her face, the memory came back. The night in the bar, the accuse, the interview at vice-squad and Judy aiming at him with a gun..."  
  
"How is she? What happened to her?"  
  
Once again she hesitated, only this time it lasted longer. He could see the expression on her face more clearly now, her sadness had mixed with fear. She looked afraid. Afraid of what?  
  
"She's dead..."  
  
He gasped by her words. Dead? That's why Faith had looked feared, she didn't wanna tell him, was afraid how he would react. Why had this happened and how had it happened. He didn't even get a chance to ask her, she seemed to know what he wanted to ask her.  
  
"She killed herself."  
  
He couldn't understand this. What had made her feel so desperate, so sad and so unwilling to go on, that she actually killed herself. What had he done to her? Faith saw his troubled face and seemed to realize that he was blaming himself, was searching the reason for Judy's suicide in the violation. The violation that actually had never happened.  
  
"Bos, stop blaming yourself. You're innocent, you didn't harm her. She was trying to seek revenge. She believed you were responsible for her mother's death, who commited suicide and we weren't able to keep her from doing it. Judy believed we – you - could have tried harder to safe her. Judy was sick, she had a psychological problem, some kind of a trauma due to her mother's death. Nothing of all this was your fault and noone is blaming you."  
  
He didn't know what to say about this. It was too much information all at once and he wasn't sure he could really believe what Faith was telling him. Maybe she still tried to calm him and make him feel better. And even if it was the whole truth – he had been with Judy, had talked to her, had slept with her. You couldn't call him completely innocent – he had had some impact on her actions, you couldn't deny that. But he didn't wish to talk about this right now. There were a lot of things he had to think about, a lot of things he had to sort out and he had to do this all by himself. Faith could see his still troubled face under a pale skin and she knew he was deeply thinking about what she had just revealed. She knew she couldn't really help him through – she could just try to be there for him.  
  
"I'm gonna call your Mom, she wanted to know when there was any change in your condition..."  
  
He hadn't even clearly listened to her.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Faith gently squeezed his hand and rose from the chair and a moment later she had left to give his mother a call and he was alone with his thoughts. 


	21. Epilogue

A.N.: Finally the end of the story is approaching... Hope you all liked it and thanks to  
everyone who reviewed.  
  
Epilogue:  
  
He felt uncomfortable – no that was an underestimation, a lie – he was... afraid. So feared there were no words to express it. He was afraid to get back to work, to see peoples' reactions, to live with the looks and whispered words they would give him – he was deeply afraid to enter the station. That much afraid, he was thinking about runing away, about fleeing and hiding since it came to his sight. Last time he had been here, about three and a half weeks ago, the lieutenant had thrown him out, had told him to leave and not to come back. But now the case was down, he had been released from hospital and he was cleared for duty – he had to come here, although he currently wished to be at any other place in the world than this. He didnd't wanna see this people, didn't wanna cope with their behavior, didn't wanna endure their reactions... They hadn't believed him, they believed he was capable of raping a young woman without even doubting it an some of them – and he was more than a hundred percent positive on that – still believed he had done it. Faith had tried to assure him everything would be alright; that people really had been concerned about the events and his state and that they cared for him.  
  
But he didn't believe her. He hadn't said a word against her, but he was deeply sure she was lying. And now – with going in there – he would've proof. Proof he was not really interested in, that wouldn't comfort him in any way, but proof as life brought it – hard and painful. There was no chance to escape that.  
  
He took all the courage he had, inhaled deeply and crossed the street to get to the station's front entrance. While crossing it, he desperately wished for a car striking him or a drive by shooting having him in the middle. Anything that would keep him, rescue him from entering that place. But it wouldn't happen. He knew everything had changed, Judy had changed everything. Maybe that had been what she wanted to happen. Of course her first motivation had been to kill him. But now she had managed to influence his whole life, change it, decrease it – forever and he believed that was even more what she had wanted to feel him. She had wanted to feel him like hr. That one short moment could take everything from you, you thought you had. Self assurance, pride, joy and the believe to always do the right thing. It had just been a short moment when he had sex with Judy and standing with her in that dimly lit room when she revealed who she was and tried to kill him had been an even shorter moment – but it had changed his life. Not only fisically- although the gunshot wound had needed therapy – but mostly psychologically. She had left him back doubtful and afraid. And as much as Faith tried to assure him everything was okay and back normal, he knew it wasn't. He had crossed the street and was standing in front of the building's doors without even realizing it. He knew he had to go in there and he also knew he couldn't do it. He closed his eyes for a second, breathed slow and deep and opened the door to get in.  
  
Before he even had a chance to talk to one of the co-workers he believed he could still trust in or managed to escape, from the people's interested and curious gazes, to the locker room, somebody was yelling his name half through the building. He knew this voice. He looked into the direction it had come from and spotted the lieutenant standing at the counter and looking at him directly.  
  
"Boscorelli!"  
  
He winced by the sound of his name ringing through the prencipt - he had the irrational feeling that the world suddenly slowed down and stopped in a moment of everybody being present turning around and facing him. He was really starting to get paranoid. He headed to the lieutenant, but didn't dare to look at him. Now it would happen, now he would have to talk to him, now he would tell him that – after what had just occurred in the past few weeks – he was unbearable for this department, now he would throw him out.  
  
"I want you in my office right now."  
  
The beginning of this first working day was far worse than he even had imagined.  
  
"Yes, Sir."  
  
He answered in a calm, almost shaky voice and followed him into his private office. The lieutenant closed the door behind him and signaled him to sit down. The lieutenant walked around his desk, sat down and gave him a serious look. Bosco tried to imagine what he would hear next, what Swersky would tell him, how he would tell him to leave and he became more and more nervous. So when the lieutenant finally started to talk to him, he was puzzled by his question, for he hadn't expected it.  
  
"So, how are you?"  
  
He hesitated for a few moments – he really hadn't expected the lieutenant would be interested in that. But maybe he just tried to be polite.  
  
"I'm better, Sir."  
  
"And you think you're clear for duty?"  
  
There it was – at last Swersky tried to get rid of him in a pretty friendly and cautious way, but he wouldn't make it to easy for him.  
  
"Yes Sir, I'm absolutely positive about that."  
  
The lieutenant paused for a few seconds before he looked at him once again – concern was visible in his eyes.  
  
"There's something we need to talk about."  
  
Bosco breathed in deeply – it would finally happen. Quicker and more early than he had thought.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"I know you have been talking about it with Yokas already – I asked her about it... About how to go on now, how to deal with the events of the past few weeks..."  
  
Bosco was unable to answer him, he just stared right to his face, mild panic in his eyes and deeply afraid of what he would hear next. The lieutenant had a soothing tone in his voice.  
  
"She told me your were pretty afraid of your first day back at work."  
  
This was torture, how dare he was talking about his feelings, about his fears and would throw him out a minute later. He swallowed hard and tried to find his voice again.  
  
"Yes Sir..."  
  
He just couldn't believe what he heard next.  
  
"And I assure you – there's no reason for it. The case is down and we all know you were innocent. There's no one who blames you and no one who believes you are a criminal. They all care for you and they have been deeply concerned about your condition. I just wanted you to know that you are wanted back here and that we all welcome you warmly. So don't fear anything – especially not this first day back at work."  
  
The lieutenant rose and gave him a little smile.  
  
"I wish you all the best for today – have a safe shift."  
  
Still unable to believe what had just happened, he almost rose automatically and managed to mumble an answer.  
  
"Thanks, Sir."  
  
Boso left the office, scanned the foyer of the prencinct and started to smile. He was still here, he was still working – they weren't blaming him and he hadn't been thrown out. Of course it would never be the same as it was before – Judy had been right with that – but there was a chance, a chance the situation would improve, would normalize and there would be the day it would be close to normal again. Only close to it, but that was more than he had ever been expecting.  
  
Faith stepped to him and gave him a smile.  
  
"Can we go?"  
  
Bosco turned to her and his smile got wider as he answered her.  
  
"Yeah sure – I'll be driving!" 


End file.
